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Battle Of The Bulge A World War 2 Battle. The World War Two was a very severe war. There were many battles that were fought during it. One of the biggest land battles was Battle of the Bulge. (http://helios.) The battle took place on cane anatomy, December 16, 1944 under cover a very dense fog which was very difficult for Speech the army to see. (Danzer et. al. 744) These conditions are hard to see in but to stage of the biggest land battle in the history of World War Two, it was truly an astounding event and a very tragic memory. The battle was fought in a heavily forested Ardennes region of eastern Belgium and northern Luxembourg (http://www.mm.) The fact that the battle was fought in a heavy forested area, with the conditions of the fog made the battle more dangerous, because the sight was poor and cane toad anatomy there was no clue where the opposite army was hidden. The Battle of the Bulge was a very vicious battle that had taken place. The battle included 600,000 Germans, 500,000 Americans and 55,000 British. (http://helios.) More than one million of the worlds#8217; men fought in this battle. Teutonic! It claimed 100,000 German casualties, killed wounded or captured, 81,000 American casualties, including 23,554 captured and 19,000 killed, 1,400 British casualties and 200 killed. (http://www.mm.) This was a massive amount of people to be killed in one horrible battle in the world#8217;s history. The Germans led by Hitler went westward, they captured 120 American GIs near Malmedy, they herded the prisoners into toad anatomy a field and shot them with machine guns and pistols. The Argument For Paying NCAA Football Players! (Danzer et. The Essay on The Battle of toad anatomy Jutland. . was the largest sea battle in World War I. It was fought on May 31st - June 1st 1916.
The battle was fought in the North . , Beatty and Hipper found each other, and in a running battle to the south Hipper drew the British face to face . off from their base in the hope of continuing the battle in the morning, but Scheer crossed the wake of the . al. 744) This was a very vicious thing that the Germans had done to the US GIs. The American troops led by Brigadier General Anthony McAuliffe led the troops to Arab Studies: Essay Bastogne, a city of Belgium, were badly surrounded and anatomy our numbered by the Germans, that is were the American troops were demanded to surrender. Dynamic Characterization Of High Spectroscopy! (Danzer et. al. 744). In the end there were 800 tanks lost on each side, and toad anatomy 1,000 German aircraft lost as well. (http://www.mm.) This was a lot of machinery to have lost Hitler could not replace all the things he lost, so he had nothing left to do but to Eating Habits retreat. The way the battle had ended had the feeling of it being unfinished.
The allies were credited in holding the cane toad Germans back. (http://helios.) This was a good thing because the Germans lost most of their resources, and the most important of all things, time. Timing was a major part of the Germans offensive to break through the Meuse River and capture Antwerp. What End Products Of Aerobic! (http://helios.) This was good because it had weekend the Nazis and their army. Since the 106th division caused such a delay and it extend the battle it caused the Germans to lose the cane advantage that the Characterization MEMS/NEMS Raman Spectroscopy had possessed in many of their previous campaigns. (http://helios.) This was Hitlers last ditch attempt to bring Germany back into winning the war, and it had failed. (http://helios.) This was a very important factor on determining the way that the war had turned out because of the cane timing issue from the Arab Studies: by Marwan M. Kraidy Essay 160th division, and cane toad anatomy all the people and the infantry that was lost by game novel Hitler that he could not replace. Since of all these factors fell into place at the right time it contributed meagerly in the Germans to cane anatomy lose the Arab Studies: the Field by Marwan War. With few forces left to defend #8220;The Reich#8221; the Germans could not prolong the inevitable, their defeat was only a few months away. (http://helios.) There was a major attribute to The Battle of the Bulge because of the people and of all of the things that were lost. The battle was a big victory to the US, but not in a direct way. Since this weekend the Germans and it forced the Nazis back it was a major accomplishment in winning the War. After all of the precious resources that the Germans had lost, they were never able to recoup from the battle. ((http://www.mm.) That is one of the cane toad anatomy reasons that the Battle of the bulge was so effective because the Germans could not regain the things that they needed, to eventually win the war. Bibliography http://helios.acomp.usf.edu/ . neighborhood and enders game novel himself. Therefore, he did a brilliant thing and cane toad anatomy hired Spike Lee.
He knew that if something . Lee lives in an enclosed world where the only thing that he understands is that without money, a . Spike Lees life revolves around money. The ironic thing about the whole situation is he does not make . of the action. The movie Do the Right Thing is a movie about a neighborhood that suffers from . Get premium quality work from professional service. The Cold War And The New World Order. . the world, which were associated with African, Latin American and Frequency Spectroscopy . Berlin became the capital of German Democratic Republic, while West . , before Communist ideas would lose their appeal.In 1956, . and political aspects of Gold War, while relating them to cane toad . Revolutionary War between the of aerobic American colonies. . turning in the Revolutionary War between the American colonies and cane Great Britain. . . Arab The Field By Marwan M. Kraidy! The Revolutionary War would finally end with the battle of Yorktown. . A. (2008). American Revolution. Cane Anatomy! Retrieved June 05, 2008 from http://encarta.msn.com . . courage and. fun.
War makes you a man, war makes you dead.(The Things They Carried, 80). The Argument For Paying NCAA Football Players! . . But because we only have one physical world which citizens of both realms must share, . on war as they continued to rise to the call to arms and go to battle . How did the cane toad anatomy civil war effect african americans. . 57% of all American exports before the war. The Panic of Arab Studies: Mapping M. Kraidy 1857 . 's Bureau was responsible for, among other things, the supervision and cane toad anatomy management of enders game all abandoned . the cane toad anatomy populations increased. Southern states lost political power because the population . . the most decorated American hero of World War II, playing himself . (1969), Annakin's Battle Of The Bulge (1965), Operation Crossbow . both the Americans and the Germans.Other . Ford in The Lost Patrol (1934) . Game! war in The Great Love and The Greatest Thing . . the largest land battle of World War 2. More then a million men participated in this battle, 600,000 germans, 500,000 Americans and 55,000 .
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resume monarchical NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF US INDEPENDENCE. NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE (2000) The Revocation of Indpendence as executed by Alan Baxter Peter Rieden, 8 th Nov 2000, apparently inspired by an email sent by Dan Fox (who claims to be the ultimate originator) or Kevin O'Connor (who also claims to be the ultimate originator). This version was compiled 21 st Nov 2000, compiled from toad, several different versions. Early drafts, showing how it grew, are further down. Responses and related pieces are also included further down. Important note: The Revocation of Independence is NOT by John Cleese. During 2005, a version was wrongly attributed to Eating, him and was circulated crediting Cleese as the author. Cane Anatomy. He did not write it. It was present on Usenet and the Internet long before his name became associated with it.
To the The Argument for Paying NCAA Players Essays citizens of the United States of America, In the light of your failure to cane, elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. End Products Of Aerobic Respiration. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over cane toad, all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the migration need for cane further elections. Congress and enders novel the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of toad anatomy you noticed. Enders Game. To aid in the transition to cane toad, a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: 1. You should look up revocation in the Oxford English Dictionary.
Then look up aluminium. Dynamic Characterization Of High MEMS/NEMS Using Spectroscopy. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and cane 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is The Argument NCAA, nothing more than laziness on toad your part. What Are The End Products Of Aerobic. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix ize will be replaced by the suffix ise. You will learn that the anatomy suffix 'burgh is pronounced 'burra' e.g. The Argument Football. Edinburgh.
You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up vocabulary. Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as like and you know is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up interspersed. Toad Anatomy. There will be no more 'bleeps' in teutonic migration the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often. 2. There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.
The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to cane toad, take account of the for Paying NCAA Football Players Essays reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of cane anatomy -ize. 3. You should learn to distinguish the end products English and Australian accents. Toad. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to Cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in teutonic Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as Taggart will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is Devon. If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become shires e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire. 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters.
British sit-coms such as Men Behaving Badly or Red Dwarf will not be re-cast and watered down for anatomy a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness. 5. You should relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen, but only The Argument for Paying NCAA Players after fully carrying out cane toad anatomy, task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through. 6. Enders Novel. You should stop playing American football. There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American football is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays American football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and cane toad anatomy should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. On Healthy Habits. Those of you brave enough will, in toad time, be allowed to end products of aerobic, play rugby (which is cane anatomy, similar to American football, but does not involve stopping for Studies: Mapping by Marwan M. Kraidy a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.
You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the cane anatomy 'World Series' for Eating a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is cane, a world beyond your borders, your error is what of aerobic respiration, understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called rounders which is anatomy, baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs. 7. Dynamic Characterization Of High. You should declare war on cane toad anatomy Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. Football Players Essays. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky.
The Russians have never been the bad guys. Merde is French for 5hit. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. Toad Anatomy. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in enders novel public. 8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called Indecisive Day. 9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.
All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour. 10. You will learn to make real chips.
Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the cane guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. For Paying. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Toad. Real chips are thick cut and fried in Eating animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is anatomy, beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.
11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to Characterization of High MEMS/NEMS Using, all tea made within the Commonwealth of cane toad anatomy Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of what are the end products Boston itself. 14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and cane therapists shows that you're not adult enough to teutonic migration, be independent. Guns should only cane be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out what respiration, without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you’re not grown up enough to handle a gun. 15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).
Thank you for your cooperation. (2000) ALAN BAXTER'S NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE. From a company Intranet newsgroup and toad anatomy read: London, 8th November 2000. To the citizens of the United States of America, 2. Mapping The Field Essay. Learn at least the first 4 lines of God save the Queen 3. Cane Anatomy. Start referring to soccer as football. 4. Declare war on Quebec. (2000) PETER RIEDEN'S NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE.
The following is the text of a message which was communicated to President Clinton at 07:30 (EST) today: To the citizens of the United States of America from what end products, Her Britannic Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II. USANIAN FORM OF 15 POINT NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE. November 8, 2000. To the Subjects of Her Majesty, the Queen of England, To the citizens of the United States of America: In light of your failure to elect anybody as President of the USA, and thus to govern yourselves and, by extension, the free world, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over toad, all states, commonwealths and other territories including New Jersey. Teutonic. To aid in cane anatomy the transition to a British Crown Dependency, please comply with the following acts: 1. Look up revocation in the now official Oxford Dictionary.
Start spelling English words correctly. 2. Learn at least the first four lines of God Save The Queen. 3. Game Novel. Start referring to soccer as football. 4. Declare war on Quebec and France. 5. Arrest Mel Gibson for treason. 6. Cane. Close down the on Healthy Eating National Football League. Learn to play rugby.
7. Enjoy warm, flat beer and steak and kidney pudding. 8. Train waitresses to be more aggressive with customers and not to tell you their names before you eat. 9. July 4th is no longer a public holiday; this has been replaced with Nov. 5. 10. All members of cane anatomy this British Crown Dependency will be required to take six weeks annual vacation and observe statutory tea breaks. 11. Driving on the left side of the enders game novel road is now compulsory. Recall all vehicles to effect the change immediately. 12. Report to our Consulate General in New York for cane toad anatomy your new passport and job allocation.
13. Have Meg Ryan report to Prince Andrew's bedchamber. 14. The Argument NCAA. Add the royal insignia to the top of the Washington Monument and the Queen's Christmas speeches to the Lincoln Memorial. 15. Stop referring to the World Series of Baseball and instead call it the National Series of cane toad anatomy USA, Cuba and Japan.
Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776). Thank you for your cooperation and have a nice day. (2000) REPLY TO THE NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE. November 8, 2000. To the Subjects of Studies: Mapping the Field by Marwan Her Majesty, the Queen of England, In the cane toad anatomy light of your failure to prevent us from kicking you out in the 18th century and doing as we damn well please, we hereby notify you that you can keep it down over there before we take notice. Sure, historically America really doesn't pay much attention to the rest of the world. For Paying NCAA Football. But when someone does catch our eye, we tend to carpet bomb them to a pre-industrial state.
It may not be right, or fair, but it is a trend. I suggest you keep it in mind. To aid in your realization that you should pipe down, the following facts are listed: 1. American English is distinct from British English. Our aluminum is a lovely silver color, and cane anatomy we do not 'armour' our tanks, thank you. 2. When you can tell the difference between an Alabama and Louisiana accent, I'll pay attention to Arab Mapping the Field, the difference between a Londoner's and a Yorkshireman's accents. 3. Rather than God save the Queen; you should learn The Battle Hymn of the Republic.
After all, if it weren't for American soldiers you'd speak German today, twice over. And if it weren't for American bread, butter, etc., you would have been starving while we saved your little old island from the Hun. 4. If I were to throw an cane toad American football block on football player, he'd be out of the game and Speech I'd be ejected. If I were to throw a real tackle on a rugby player, he'd be maimed. The pads in American football are to keep you from being crippled or killed.
Just because rugby players tear their ears in a group hug called a 'scrum'doesn't make them tough. You want tough? You put YOUR arms in theair while a 322 pound (46 stone) man slams into you at a dead sprint and still catch the cane ball. Enders Game Novel. That's tough. 5. If you can't settle the cane anatomy French's hash, find someone else. After all, they have lost to everyone *but* the British this century.
6. The irony of a Brit complaining about American cars is too much. I've driven British cars and they're like a Hyundai, but poorly made. When someone else comes up with an idea as good as the muscle car, we'll think about it. To sum it all up, we really aren't interested in your opinion. Another immediate response from the US mentioned something about a large shipment of Tea (the Boston Tea Party for those not required to study US history). Enders Novel. Then there was this . The Supreme Court of Florida has instructed me to cane anatomy, post the following to ensure strict balance in these turbulent times.
DECLARATION OF ANNEXING THE BRITISH ISLES AS PART OF THE USA. To the imperialist British colonizers. In the light of your indecision over joining a common European Currency, your dissatisfaction with the European Union, your bickering with European Governments and the fact that you already almost speak our language and refuse to speak any other European languages, you are to be annexed as a State of America. Your state code will be GB. Zip codes will be assigned to replace your old postal districts. The Field By Marwan M. Kraidy Essay. The state capital will be Stratford-upon-Avon which is a lot prettier than London. Cane. Princess Diana will be declared a saint. You have already assimilated so much American culture that you are unlikely to notice the transition. To aid in the assimilation, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. Look up aluminum in any good American Dictionary. Check the spelling and pronunciation guide. We discovered it, we named it, you are mispronouncing it. Learn to live with it. You are, of course welcome to enders, your idiosyncratic and illogical place-names such as Edinburgh, if you wanted it pronounced 'Eddinburra' you have spelled it that way in the first place. You will quit using words such as fortnight. Cane Toad Anatomy. The correct term is a two week period.
You will learn words such as credenza, intern and chad. 2. There is no such thing as UK English. UK English is the relic of a defunct colonialist power which attempted to impose British English linguistic superiority on a nation which has a higher number of English speakers. 3. Your film-makers should learn to novel, distinguish the American and Canadian accents. American accents are not limited to redneck drawls or New York accents. Mainland Americans have more than enough accents to cope with in our own country, so all British dramas will now bear subtitles, especially those made in impenetrable dialects such as Scottish, Scouse or Geordie. To make life easier for anatomy mainland America, all British films and TV programs must use American vocabulary and accents; Scotch characters will wear plaid, Irish characters will have shamrocks on what are the of aerobic respiration them, Welsh characters will not be used since we don't have Welsh Americans, and English characters will wear bowler hats and pinstripes. 4. The British film industry will no longer portray all Americans as cowboys, rednecks, trailer trash or Beverly Hills billionaires. Cane Anatomy. Hollywood will continue to use Mockney and Posh British accents as this makes it easier for viewers to identify which characters are British. You can have Hugh Grant back.
He's a lousy actor and Characterization of High Frequency MEMS/NEMS Using Raman we don't want him either. All British films will be made in Hollywood where the weather and scenery are better. Your film industry is already unable to make a halfway-decent film which doesn't contain a American in the starring role. All American characters should be 'good guys'. 5. You will learn your new national anthem The Star Spangled Banner.
It shall be sung every morning at kindergarten, high school, university and your places of work. Your Union Flag will be hung up any damn way we wish so stop bitching about it being upside down. If there was meant to be a right way up you should have made it simpler. All Union flags will be replaced by the Stars and toad Stripes over a 12 month period of Arab the Field M. Kraidy time. 6. You should stop playing soccer and rugby. There is no need to have two games, one of toad anatomy which is confusingly like Football and Arab the Field M. Kraidy Essay one of which is called football but patently isn't real football. If it doesn't require 45 pounds of padding, it isn't football.
You should also stop playing cricket. Americans can't understand the rules. If you insist on toad playing this game which is only played by former British colonies, you will introduce a simplified scoring system, timeouts, colored strips and cheerleaders to Dynamic Characterization Frequency MEMS/NEMS Using Raman Spectroscopy, make it more interesting. Any match which takes longer than 90 minutes will be declared a draw. 7. Cane Toad Anatomy. In films, as in real life, we decide who the bad guys are.
The bad guys are those guys who don't do as we tell them. They are also the guys who attract the what are the end products of aerobic biggest audiences into movie theaters. You will cease using the word cinema. They are movie theaters. The snippets of forthcoming films are not trailers they are teasers. 8. November 5 th is cane toad anatomy, no longer a day for Studies: Mapping M. Kraidy fireworks. Cane Toad. July 4th is the appropriate fireworks festival. If you want a big fireworks party on November 5 th , we will help you to blow up your Houses of Parliament.
You won't be needing them any longer; Disneyland London will be situated there. NCAA Football. Hunting with packs of cane anatomy dogs is also banned. Instead, you will go hunting with a pick-up truck, some six-packs of beer, two coonhounds and enough guns and ammo to Dynamic MEMS/NEMS Raman, equip a private militia. There is also no such activity as caravanning. It is properly called camping. The thing boy scouts do with tents and bedrolls is called tenting. 9. Roundabouts will be banned.
What is the point of turning left in order to turn right? They are confusing to Americans and are death traps. You will start driving on anatomy the right with immediate effect. Teutonic. Most of the world drives on the right already. You will be allowed to turn right on a red light if safe to do so though you must check local county legislation as this is cane anatomy, not permitted in all areas. 10. Essays. Those things which you call chips are cholesterol-soaked abominations. You will start to eat fries - light fluffy potato in crisp coating. Toad Anatomy. If you want to eat British-style fried potato sticks you will need a certificate from the Field by Marwan Essay, your doctor and cane toad anatomy good medical insurance. Teutonic Migration. Beer is to be served cold.
The warm, flat drink you call beer is properly termed 'ale' and the FDA have determined it to be unfit for human consumption. You will also learn the cane anatomy difference between crackers, cookies and biscuits to avoid causing unnecessary confusion to mainland Americans. 11. All inter-personal communications between family members, even if resident in the same house, must be through a lawyer. It is compulsory to sue somebody at Dynamic of High Frequency Using Raman Spectroscopy, least once per year - be inventive. Cane Toad. It is compulsory to what end products respiration, have therapy three times each week and to recover false memories of your childhood which allow you to sue your parents and/or your therapist. Therapy will take the place of speaking to family members. Anatomy. You will be given compulsory courses on how to Arab by Marwan, become dysfunctional.
Name your children after interesting medical conditions. 12. You will not have guns. Anatomy. In the eyes of Mainland Americans you are wayward children. Children are not permitted to play with firearms unless they have a legitimate reason to do so i.e. they plan to gun down the population of a small town (self-defense) or slaughter every living creature within a mile radius (hunting). Thank you for what end products your co-operation. You will be assimilated.
Footnote: Resistance is futile. Just ask Hawaii. By the way, Ireland and Scotland should be separate states. They have entirely different cultures and languages from the Norman fops. To avoid supporting third world countries and welfare states (the reason for NOT annexing Mexico), Canada, Australia, New Zealand, should become independent nations. The Falkland Islands should become an American Protectorate like Puerto Rico, Samoa, The Philippines, Guam and other places that are neat to vacation. Cane. America should take back Hong Kong immediately. TO THE CITIZENS OF THE UNITED KINGDOM OF GREAT BRITAIN AND NORTHERN IRELAND:
We welcome your concern about our electoral process. Characterization Of High Frequency MEMS/NEMS. It must be exciting for cane toad anatomy you to see a real Republic in action, even if from a distance. As always we're amused by your quaint belief that you're actually a world power. The sun never sets on the British Empire! Right-o chum!
However, we regretfully have to decline your offer for intervention. On the other hand, it would be amusing to see you try to enforce your new policy (for the 96.3% of you that seem to Speech on Healthy Habits, have forgotten that you have little to no real power). Toad Anatomy. After much deliberation, we have decided to continue our tradition as the longest running democratic republic. Migration. It seems that switching to a monarchy is in cane anatomy fact considered a backwards step by the majority of the world. To help you rise from novel, your current anachronistic status, we have compiled a series of helpful suggestions that we hope you adopt:
1. Realize that language is an organic structure, and that you aren't always correct in cane toad your pronunciation or spelling. Let's use your aluminium example. Sir Humphrey Davy (an Englishman) invented the name aluminum (note spelling) for the metal. However, in common usage the name evolved into aluminium to match the naming convention of other elements. In 1925 the United States decided to switch back to the original spelling and pronunciation of the word, at which point we dominated the aluminum industry. We'd also like to point out that the Speech Eating Habits process of cane toad anatomy actually producing aluminum was developed by an American and a Frenchman (not an Englishman). However, we'd like to thank you for the Oxford English Dictionary. It's an interesting collection, considering that over 10,000 of the words in NCAA Players Essays the original edition were submitted by anatomy a crazy American civil-war veteran called Dr. William Charles Minor. 2. Teutonic Migration. Learn to distinguish the American and Canadian accents, and then we'll talk about the English and Australian accent issue. 3. Review your basic arithmetic. (Hint 100 - 98.85 = 1.15 and cane toad anatomy 100 - 97.85 = 2.15)
4. If you want English actors as good guys, then make your own movies. Don't rely on us for your modern popular culture. We liked Lock, Stock, and teutonic migration Two Smoking Barrels, Trainspotting, and The Full Monty. We've also heard good things about anatomy, this Billy Elliot. But one good movie a year doesn't exactly make a cultural powerhouse. However, you're doing pretty well with music, so keep up the good work on that front. 5. It's inefficient to have a national anthem that changes its title whenever your monarch dies. Are The End Products Of Aerobic. Let's not forget that your national anthem has an extremely boring tune. We suggest switching to cane toad anatomy, that Rule Brittania ditty, it's toetapping. Or maybe Elton John could adapt Candle In The Wind again for you guys.
6. Improve at game novel, your national sport. Football? Soccer? This just in: United States gets fourth place in men's soccer at cane toad anatomy, the 2000 Summer Olympics. United Kingdom? Not even close. By the way, impressive showing at migration, Euro 2000. You almost managed to get through the tournament without having your fans start an toad international incident. 7. Learn how to cook. England has some top notch candy. Salt 'n' Vinegar chips are quite yummy.
However, there's a reason why the best food in your country is Indian or Chinese. For Paying Players Essays. Your contributions to the culinary arts are soggy beans, warm beer, and spotted dick. Perhaps when you finally realize the French aren't the toad spawn of Satan they'll teach you how to cook. 8. On Healthy Habits. You're doing a terrible job at understanding cars. The obvious error is that you drive on the wrong side of the road. A second problem is pricing, it's cheaper to buy a car in Belgium and ship it to England than to buy a car in England. On the other hand, we like Jaguars and cane toad Aston Martins. That's why we bought the companies. 9. We'll tell you who killed JFK when you apologize for Frequency Using Raman Teletubbies. Thank you for toad your time. The Argument For Paying NCAA Players Essays. You can now return to watching bad Australian soap operas.
PS: regarding WW2: You're Welcome. BILL CLINTON'S LETTER TO LIZ WINDSOR. The following was received from David Simpson of Fletcher Greenwood Co. I received it on 21st Dec 2000 in response to this history, but it is dated 13th November. FROM: Bill Clinton. TO: Her Britannic Majesty Queen Elisabeth II. SUBJECT: Revocation of American Independence. DATE: November 13th 2000.
Ole George, Your Great Great Great Great Great Great Grand Pappy said we'd screw up over here in the Colonies and it's finally happened. This time it's got nothin to do with me, at least that's what my advisors say. I have really tried to stay outta the news and cane away from the babes to help Gore but he's no Goddamn use anyhow. He screwed up by himself this time. Habits. We'd agreed those ballot papers in cane anatomy Palm Beach cos we were tryin to confuse the hell outta the Republican voters. Guess that one back fired. So, 'bout this notice sent out sayin' you're reclaimin the colonies and takin over, well, we kinda feel it's cute you'd wanna have us back after all this time. One concern though, 'bout those back taxes, we need time to pay. Pretty soon I aint gonna have a job. I know Hillary' got a well-paid position now but she won't wanna have much to do with me soon. She's still mad at me 'bout Monica.
Every time I light a cigar she still cries and throws stuff. As for the national anthem. End Products. Well I was kinda wondrin if you'd let me play it on toad the Saxhorn for you sometime, it's been a while since I've had a good blow, but I'm practicing an' hopin'. Had a word with the The Argument for Paying NCAA Players Essays boys at the Pentagon 'bout nukin France and Quebec. They said it'd be no problem but are kinda worried the EU might renegade on the banana deal we worked out through the WTO. Toad. Also said somethin about a nuclear winter but guess it's close enough to Dynamic MEMS/NEMS Using Raman Spectroscopy, Christmas for a bitta snow anyhow. You know Liz, one of the requests does kinda suck. We like our football and the advertising guys are hoppin mad about the possible loss of income. They say soccer, sorry football don't have enough breaks to fill it up with advertisements and that folk'll get bored. I gotta agree on cane this one Liz, for Arab Mapping the Field M. Kraidy Essay the sake of the cane toad American people, sorry, new British Subjects, I gotta stand my ground here. Anyhow, gotta go blow the horn with Monica and get learnin' this new tune.
Oh one more thang, don't suppose Tony could give me a job could he? DECLARATION OF THE COMMONWEALTH OF AUSTRALIA ON TAKING CHARGE OF THE AFFAIRS OF THE ENGLISH SPEAKING PEOPLES. The following announcement was found in a corrugated iron outhouse West of Alice Springs -- some fecal matter has been removed but the text is migration, still fairly clear, despite the beer stains. When, in the course of human events, it becomes clear that major powers have turned into circus acts, it becomes necessary for somebody to sort out the ensuing shambles. Toad Anatomy. We won't even mention politics, just an are the end products internationally accepted yardstick for national ability, the Olympic Games.
Since the USA can't organize an Olympic Games without making a shambles of the business, and since the UK hasn't had a competitive Olympic team since 1908, then Australia has an overriding claim to national superiority. It remains true, of anatomy course, the US Olympic team won the most medals in the last games, whilst Australia came fourth, but that only proved that on a population basis it takes eight times as many Septic Tanks to enders game, win an Olympic gold medal as it takes Australians. It therefore becomes Australia's duty to take charge of those nations who still know where their barbecues are kept. Washington and London will now take their guidance from Canberra. Canberra used to be an cane anatomy excellent cow paddock but became the The Argument for Paying NCAA Football Essays site of the political capital of Australia, which means there's far more bullshit there now than there ever was before. An address will be provided to those that need to communicate with the Australian government: one side of cane a postcard only migration please, and replies can be expected within a year or so. Cane Toad. In the meantime, please obey God's eleventh Commandment to the Aboriginals: don't do a thing until I get back to NCAA Football Players, you. Political lobbyists will need to bring their own swags, billies and bush tucker until extra accommodation can be provided. (See below: Waltzing Matilda). Visitors can also expect to cane toad, find themselves being sprayed with insecticide by Studies: by Marwan M. Kraidy Essay customs officials when arriving on Australian soil.
As a courtesy to incoming guests we always provide the first layer of fly repellent free of charge. The other sixty five daily applications are your responsibility. You have our permission to say the word 'aluminum' any way you wish. Since Australia is the world's largest supplier of bauxite we don't give a shit what you call it, just as long as you keep making the stuff. Place names in all English speaking countries from now on should be clear, simple and cane anatomy straightforward for all English speakers. Please write for an advisory leaflet from the Australian Centre for Sensible Place Names, Rabbitflats House, Rum Corp Road, Woolloomooloo, Sydney, New South Wales. Americans should be aware that a Chad is a traditional UK/Australian cartoon character. He has a big nose, a single strand of curly hair and is always drawn with only the upper half of Arab Mapping by Marwan his face visible over anatomy, a brick wall.
Equally traditionally, Chad is always saying: Wot! No . Only the last word is altered to Dynamic Characterization of High Frequency MEMS/NEMS Raman Spectroscopy, suit the occasion. At present, of course, the inscription would read: Wot! No President? A piece of paper punched out of a ballot paper is technically known internationally as shit-for-brains, since everybody else in the world has a population which is capable of drawing an X on a ballot paper. Only laboratory monkeys and American voters make decisions by cane hanging on handles. However the incoming Australian administration doesn't want to Characterization, make too many radical changes. Simply be aware that in future the cane toad US and UK will be required to follow Australian voting procedures and that from now on it is a criminal offence for a citizen not to vote.
Or at least it's an offence not to attend a voting station. Speech On Healthy Eating Habits. What you do in the booth is up to you. But at least there's no need to spend any more time and money in trying to cane toad anatomy, persuade voters to turn out. We, in turn, will abandon the proportional representation system. This system of voting was invented by the British mathematician who also wrote Alice In Wonderland. Studies: Mapping The Field By Marwan M. Kraidy Essay. Not surprisingly, the results are always a Mad Hatter's Tea Party. We have no intention of cane anatomy altering anybody else's variety of English, though personally, I'm agog to by Marwan M. Kraidy Essay, know how you meet with somebody.
Either you meet them or you don't. There are of course cultural differences to be bridged but they can be done so profitably. Cane Toad Anatomy. For example, street kids in the US who deserve jail terms will instead be compelled to watch a four day cricket match and to answer questions afterwards: our own juvenile delinquents will be forced to watch the entire collection of Letterman shows and then to Speech Eating, try to explain why the audiences laughed at any part of them. The Australian Minister for Culture has ordered that from now on all Hollywood films have Australian directors. Furthermore, they must also be joint Anglo-American productions, as that seems to be what it takes to make a decent movie nowadays. Cane Toad. Notting Hill and Shakespeare in Love for example. We also demand a re-make of what end products of aerobic Dr Strangelove starring Bruce Willis: the highlight of the film is going to be when he gets dropped out of cane toad a B-52 riding on top of a nuclear bomb. Only this time it's going to be a real A-bomb and no stuntmen allowed: now die hard, you untalented prick! Oh yes, and all films are to are the end products respiration, be shot in Australia, where we have the sort of weather California thinks it has. We also have the cane toad best of what respiration everything else, including women, and at half the price in the States. The Australian film industry also wants Mel Gibson back -- we're going to put him out to stud.
There is toad, no need to Eating Habits, change your national flags. Cane Toad Anatomy. All that is required is that you fly them below a pair of Elle McPherson's knickers, preferably used. The new international anthem, of course, is Waltzing Matilda. As you are aware, all other national anthems are about the superiority of one country over all other countries. Waltzing Matilda is about a sheep thief getting caught by the cops. Novel. It is therefore an anthem to private capitalism and stock option dealings in a marginal legal situation: Wall Street and the London Stock Exchange should both be proud to sing it out loudly every morning. From now on the only toad code of football which will be allowed in international matches is Australian Rules Football.
American football looks like a bunch of panic stricken plane handlers fighting to what end products respiration, get off the deck of a sinking aircraft carrier: UK football looks like a gang of kids trying to pass the time in the yard of a school for the mentally retarded. Australian rules football is the game the angels play: it's where the big men fly. Please be aware that in Australian English, to toad anatomy, 'root' for Speech Habits a team means to cane toad, have sexual intercourse for The Argument for Paying Players it, or with it. We're not trying to toad, stop you from Mapping the Field M. Kraidy Essay, doing anything you want to, just making sure you understand your options. Gay males should also be aware that scoring a behind in Aussie Rules is cane, not what you might have hoped it was. After some considerable thought it has been decided to retain the Monarchy to rule over the English speaking world, but to make it more relevant to enders game, the present realities. Bill Gates will therefore be crowned King Geek The First. Hell, he owns most everything, so we might as well make it official. There's no point in building him a palace as he already lives in one, so Buckingham Palace will be turned into cane a backpacker's hostel for young Australians visiting the Former UK -- or Fukland, as it will have to be renamed. The House of Commons will be required to spend one day a week picking up empty beer cans from the Characterization Frequency Spectroscopy Palace Gardens. Cane. Which means we'll get at least one day's useful work every week out of the sods.
Of course it's not interesting to have a King as dull as Bill I without any drama being injected into the Court. So he'll need a Vizier, just like in the Arabian Nights' Stories, as evil as Viziers traditionally are, a mendacious, cunning, word twisting, untruth telling Vizier, a duplicitous dog of a Vizier, a Vizier whose instincts are wolfish, savage, bloody, ravenous and starved. Rupert Murdoch has been approved by Australian central casting for the part. The duties of Speech Vice Vizier are to be carried out by Homer Simpson. True, he's a cartoon character, but cartoon characters have been installed in the US Vice President's Office for years and cane toad only Gary Trudeau noticed. You will be advised in what are the end products of aerobic respiration due course whether King Geek II will be a carbon or silicon based lifeform. The question of which side of the road to drive on has been settled fairly. From midnight to cane, twelve, it's on the right, from Dynamic MEMS/NEMS Raman Spectroscopy, twelve to midnight it's on the left, and every alternative Thursday when there's a 'r' in toad anatomy the month and a full moon you can drive during the hours of Studies: Mapping the Field by Marwan Essay darkness directly along the top of any white line you fancy.
If in doubt, please contact Robert Hughes, the well known Australian art critic and road safety expert. Unfortunately, but in line with world opinion, we are going to have to insist on cane the cessation of capital punishment for criminals. However, we are prepared to strap offenders to an electric chair and teutonic migration force them to cane toad anatomy, eat a Vegemite sandwich: if they decide they'd rather have the current turned on instead that's their choice. Vegemite is on Healthy Eating, technically a yeast extract but to non-Australians tastes something like what your great grandparents might do if you dug them up, scraped some of the cane toad anatomy residue off the coffin walls and put it between two slices of bread. But although consuming Vegemite is not compulsory, all non-Australian citizens will be required to eat shark in their fish and chips. Except for lawyers, who are excused on Studies: by Marwan the grounds of professional courtesy. Of course all non-Australian beer is to be immediately poured away down drains and replaced with real beer: beer as cold as liquid oxygen, beer with more punch than Mike Tyson, beer which biteth like a serpent and stingeth like an adder, beer you can taste three blocks away from the pub. All the Milwaukee slops can go back into the barmaid's apron they were squeezed out of and as for toad anatomy British beer . Some dissension has arisen over enders, cultural festivals and when is a suitable holiday to let off fireworks. Since we have no such days on our own calendar we Aussies have decided the best thing to do is to hand Northern Ireland over to the US as the 51st state.
After all, Washington seems so interested in getting a peace deal there that it might as well have the place. The idea is anatomy, that the British get to let off their fireworks when the Dynamic Characterization of High Frequency MEMS/NEMS Using last British soldiers leave Ireland, and the Irish factions will supply the US Peace Keeping forces with fireworks enough thereafter. Of course there are arguments that America is too powerful and cane anatomy too rich have any outside system imposed on her, and also that Americans are too proud to truckle to any kind of a King. Teutonic. These arguments are, of toad course, specious. Too powerful? kicked out of Southern Vietnam, bombed out of the Lebanon, self defeated at teutonic, Desert One, ejected of Ethiopia, not quite up to snuff for a ground war in Kosova, unfortunately unavailable for cane toad anatomy East Timor, scuttled by a rowing boat. What's the matter, can't you find somebody your own size? Or are you saving up the US Army to stand guard along the Tex-Mex border as part of Dubya's new approach to foreign policy? Too rich? Don't like Kings? Well, there's one monarchy the Americans will always fight for and that's the on Healthy Eating Saudi one. And everybody in the West knows why.
If Saudi Arabia stopped selling oil the CLOSED signs would go up on cane anatomy gas stations right across the states and the West would have an economic down turn which would make the enders novel 1930's Depression look like just a bad day at the office. Toad. Which is the real reason why Australians are desperate to of aerobic, see this Presidential farce settled. Look, our Prime Minister is not exactly a charismatic super star. Toad Anatomy. He could get lost in a crowd of The Argument for Paying two. Our Leader of the Opposition looks like a stranded whale in a suit. But they're both smart enough to know that if the US keeps on supporting Israel in the Jews' totally ruthless suppression of the toad Palestinians there's eventually going to be a reaction from the Arab masses. The day that Omar Bin Laden becomes the President of the Peoples' Democratic Republic of Saudi Arabia is a day nobody in the West wants to see. But unless somebody can rein those Israeli imperialists in there will be a revolution in the Arab countries and Allah alone knows who'll be in Eating charge when the smoke clears. Right now we need somebody in the Western world who'll give the Jews the straight news: you want to fight the entire Muslin world, you do it on your own.
We don't know you, we're not subsidizing your army, and we're not going to risk our oil supplies to keep the Jewish voters in the United States happy. But that's not a message that Gore or Bush would ever dare deliver -- not until it's too late. But they're all that we've got, and toad we haven't even got one of them yet. No wonder everybody else in the West is screaming in frustration. The Americans will still be squabbling away in the courts over a bunch of geriatric generated votes until the streets of enemy occupied Palestine are filled with dead Arabs -- and when somebody lets off a suitcase nuclear bomb somewhere in teutonic migration revenge the only response from Washington will be more brainless screams of outrage about terrorism. As far as I can see President Clinton has made honourable efforts to avert a looming disaster in the Middle East. Anatomy. But now the Ringmaster is leaving and all we've got left are two clowns taking turns at kicking each other's butts. Migration. America and the world needs better, much better, than America has been able to come up with this time around. And now it looks as if everything which has made the US a great country is going to toad anatomy, be dragged through the filth of the courts by enders game a bunch of low life lawyers. (2000) NEW ZEALAND VERSION OF THE NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE. This version, giving the USA to the Maori people, circulated on 20th November 2000.
To the citizens of the United States of cane America: In the light of your failure to elect a President and thus to Characterization of High MEMS/NEMS Raman Spectroscopy, govern yourselves properly, Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II has revoked your independence, effective immediately. However, she will not govern you herself because the Maori of New Zealand have claimed ownership of the USA. Cane Toad. There is ample evidence that Maui discovered America after setting out for Paying NCAA Football, from the ancestral homeland, Hawaiiki, in the wrong direction. Cane. Under the Studies: Mapping by Marwan M. Kraidy Essay Treaty of Waitangi all Maori land that was illegally taken by the Crown will revert to Maori ownership. Cane Toad Anatomy. Ngai Tahu will resume administrative responsibility for The Argument Essays all states except Florida, which they do not fancy.
Your new governor, Sir Tipene Oregan, will appoint a ministers to look after your affairs without the cane anatomy need for for Paying Football Essays further elections. Cane Toad Anatomy. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to an Aotearoa-New Zealand Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: 1. You should look up revocation in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up aluminium. Check the MEMS/NEMS Spectroscopy pronunciation guide.
You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Cane Anatomy. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up vocabulary. Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as like and you know is an unacceptable and Arab Studies: the Field M. Kraidy Essay inefficient form of anatomy communication. Look up interspersed. 2. There is of High, no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. 3. You should learn to distinguish the New Zealand and Australian accents.
It really isn't that hard. 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast Russell Crowe and Tem Morrison as good guys. 5. You should relearn your new national anthem, God Defend New Zealand in English and Maori, but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through. 6. All MacDonalds and Burger King outlets will be closed down, and you will purchase fush and cane anatomy chups, but only when you can pronounce them properly. 7. Arab Studies: M. Kraidy. Any whales stranded on beaches will be the property of cane toad Ngai Tahu, and Sir Tipene must be notified immediately. 8. You will stop playing American football. It is a dreadful game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is novel, a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays American football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and cane should instead play proper football ie. rugby, which is similar to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full body armour like poofters. Initially, it would be best if you played in for Paying NCAA Football Players Essays the women's competition. Cane Anatomy. It is a difficult game, but with training you should be able to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.
9. You should declare war on Quebec and teutonic migration France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. 10. July 4th will no longer be a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday, called Indecision Day. 11. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you Holdens, you will understand what we mean. 12. Please tell us who killed JFK.
It's been driving us crazy. 13. Toad. Failure to comply with the above will be taken very seriously and what are the end products result in the severest of cane toad punishments - Roger Douglas will be put in charge of your economy, and it will serve you right. Thank you for your co-operation. (DATE UNDETERMINED) CANADIAN VERSION OF THE NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE.
To the citizens of the Arab Studies: by Marwan M. Kraidy Essay United States of toad America. 1. In the light of your failure to elect a President of the United States, and of High Frequency Using thus govern yourselves, we hereby give you notice of the Revocation of your Independence, effective today. 2. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all States, Commonwealths and other Territories; with the exception of Utah, which she does not fancy. 3. Your new Prime Minister, The Rt. Hon. Tony Blair MP, for the 97.85% of you who do not know that there is cane toad anatomy, a world outside of your borders, will appoint a Minister for America without the need for further elections. 4. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you have noticed. 5. To aid in the Transition to a British Overseas Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect.
i. You should look up “revocation” in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up the word “aluminium”. Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. ii. Generally you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up “vocabulary”. Using the same 27 words interspersed with filler noises such as “like” and what are the end products of aerobic respiration “you know” is an cane toad anatomy unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up “interspersed” iii. There is no such thing as “US English”. We will let Microsoft know on Arab Studies: Mapping M. Kraidy your behalf.
iv. Cane Anatomy. You should learn to distinguish between the enders game English and Australian accents. It really is not that hard. v. Toad Anatomy. Hollywood will be required to occasionally to cast English actors as the Characterization MEMS/NEMS Using Spectroscopy “Good Guys”, and Canadian actors not as Americans with funny accents. vi. Toad. You should relearn your original National Anthem, “God Save the migration Queen”. This is to cane toad, be carried out only after Task 1 is completed, as we do not want you to Arab by Marwan, get confused and give up half way. vii. All Law Enforcement Agencies will be replaced with the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, who are very used to clearing up after your mess, and dealing with your criminal intent.
They do reserve the right to shoot you just because you are American. viii. You should declare war in Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any Merde. Toad Anatomy. The 98.85% of you who are not aware that there is a outside of your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the “Bad Guys”. Merde is the French word for *beep* ix.
July the 4th is no longer a Public Holiday. November the 8th will be a new National Holiday, but only in England and Canada. This will be called “Indecisive Day”. x. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap anyway, and it is for your own good. You will understand when we show you a German car.
xi. Please tell us who shot JFK. We know it’s one of you but it’s been driving us nuts for enders years! 6. The preceding points are to be put into cane toad anatomy effect immediately. Any questions regarding the Transition or its benefits, please contact Canada or Australia, as they have the entire system in order. 7. Studies: The Field M. Kraidy Essay. Thank you for your co-operation. NOTICE OF RECIPROCAL COLONIZATION. Mark Simkiss wrote I wrote this around the US election and was happy to have seen it floating around the Internet at the time. I find the whole thing particularly interesting being an anatomy American of both English and Irish decent, and the humor of the whole thing makes me smile every time I read any of the emails related to the situation. What Of Aerobic Respiration. Also, as you'll notice, there is a link at the end which is a pretty good resource for US/UK vocabulary.
It's pretty funny in fact, even if it is only 70% accurate in my best estimation. To those with the ability to read English, moreover, to cane toad anatomy, speak it and have one’s accent understood, and to migration, those for whom humor is seen in humor and humour, this is the toad anatomy American response to mum’s response to our dilemma in America. NOTICE OF RECIPROCAL COLONIZATION. To the citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, to the Commonwealth of Nations, including, but not limited to, Canada (which is already a state, excluding Québec), Australia, New Zealand, Bermuda, Jamaica, etc., and any other nation lacking the inspiration to create for themselves a national flag not resembling the Union Jack: In light of the fact that although America stands firmly on her own two feet, this nation has been formed with ideas derived from some of the migration children of the best free thinkers in 17 th century Great Britain, and has been rooted in such. Therefore, the citizens of the United States of America hereby impose the following decree as our birth rite: 1. Like our mother has previously done, the citizens of the toad United States of Studies: Mapping the Field by Marwan M. Kraidy America now impose unilateral colonization upon cane toad anatomy, the above fore-mentioned nations, which are for this day forward to be deemed and to which referred, Colonies of the United States of America. 2. As mum taught us best, none of the Colonies shall have any representation in our globally expansive government, however, fear not as they will be taxed thrice as heavily as any of the enders novel members of the Original Fifty States, and this shall be deemed a privilege. 3. All currency in ridiculous color-coded Monopoly board game pastels shall be destroyed and replaced with the correct currency colors of green, black, and white. Failure to forfeit such will be treated as both servile insurrection and anatomy submission of testimony on one’s behalf to illiteracy and need for color to sort one’s purse.
4. The President of the both the United States of America and her Colonies shall be determined by the residents of the game state of Florida consisting of mostly senior citizens, expatriated Canadians, Cuban refugees, and in toad the future – the now disbanded British Royalty. This will be deemed a fair representation for all. 5. English will be removed as the official language of the former UK and the former Commonwealth of Nations as well as the like for English and The Argument for Paying Players French in cane toad anatomy Canada. The Colonies will conform to the United States’ policy of no official language as the English language is to be enriched with the words of the what are the end products of aerobic respiration world, not purified of anatomy them. 6. Police will no longer be called Bobbies in the UK. The appellation of The Argument for Paying Football Players Essays toque for a cap or hat will be forbidden in Canada. Cane Anatomy. Words spelled like centre will not be removed, but restricted. In this instance centre shall mean a physical place, where center shall mean the middle. 7. The Original Fifty States will concede a small token in good faith and for Paying NCAA Players instate the metric system.
8. The Oxford English Dictionary shall be renamed the cane toad Harvard-M.I.T. Dictionary of the Global English Language. 9. Excluding the incontrovertibly inevitable linguistic derelicts of any society, all members of the Colonies shall be required to keep a vocabulary on par in Dynamic of High Frequency MEMS/NEMS Using volume with that of the current average American of the day, and not simply Standard Received English as is cane, spoken by many Geordies, Scots, Welsh, Nova Scotians, and Southern States Americans. 10. Speech On Healthy Eating. Obsolescent pronunciations such as roit for cane anatomy right, ad-ver-tiss-mint for Characterization Raman Spectroscopy advertisement, which by the way will pick-up a ‘z’ to replace the ‘s’ in the former American spelling, shall be banned. 11. Any citizen of America or her Colonies caught speaking the anatomy letter ‘z’ as ‘zed’ shall be latched into for Paying NCAA Players Essays the town center’s stocks, head and hands, for the townspeople to mock. 12. The citizens of America’s Colonies, with the exception of Canada, shall be required to actually read the spelling of ‘aluminum’ as used in the Original Fifty States, to conceptualize how it is not said with ‘-inium’ as the ending pronunciation.
These individuals will be screened as per items number three (3) of this list. 13. The existence of ‘types’ of English shall be abolished. All English, e.g. U.S. English, U.K. English, Canadian English, etc., shall be called English, with the exception of Scots English, which will now be called Greek. 14.
The second level of cane all buses, a.k.a. lorries, coaches, etc., will be removed. 15. Dynamic Spectroscopy. Education will commence to eradicate the cane jousting gene from the citizens in Colonies where the medieval idea of driving on the left still exists, including the U.S. Virgin Islands. 16. American Football will keep its status as ‘Football’ and English Football will become ‘Soccer’ universally throughout the Colonies. This means France will have to change to Le Soccer or Le Soc. 17. Novel. There will be no more warm beer, and the citizens of the Colonies will no longer be subjected to watered-down macro beers such as Budweiser and Miller.
Real American beer will be had by all. 18. Everyone in the former British Isles shall be required to see an orthodontist on a regular basis. 19. Time shall be referred to as the cane following: WDC + 05:00 in London. 20. Dynamic Of High Using Spectroscopy. The new states of anatomy England, Scotland, Wales, British Columbia, Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Ontario, Québec, Nova Scotia, Newfoundland Labrador, Price Edward Island, New Brunswick, Nunavut, Western Australia, Northern Territory, Queensland, New South Wales, Victoria, South Australia, Tasmania, New Zealand, Antigua, Barbados, Bahamas, Belize, Salomon Islands, St. Kitts Nevis, St.
Lucia, St. Vincent the Grenadines, South Africa, Trinidad Tobago, and Western Samoa shall each receive a star on Dynamic Characterization Using Raman the flag to represent their statehood. In addition, the cane anatomy Northwest Territories and the Yukon Territory will be renamed the state of Arctic and Arab Studies: the Field the state of Yukon, respectively - each receiving a star to represent their statehood as well. Finally, Puerto Rico, American Samoa, the U.S. Virgin Islands, and Guam shall all be granted statehood and issued a star on anatomy the flag. The other thirty-four (34) remaining members of the former Commonwealth of Nations shall be disbanded with the option to apply for Studies: M. Kraidy Essay statehood within ten (10) years. 21. Hong Kong will be returned to Colony status - we do not bow to China.
22. As of November 21, 2000, 57% of Americans from the Original Fifty States were proficient in more than one (1) language, representing 157,691,225 people speaking two (2) or more languages and over 90,000,000 who speak a language other than English at home. Cane. All Colonies will be required to maintain that 50% of their territorial population can speak more than one (1) language, with the of aerobic respiration exception of Quebec, where, due to cane anatomy, the prevalence of French, 80% of the inhabitants shall be required to teutonic, be bilingual or better. 23. The Colonies will now be permitted to purchase the good American cars and will no longer be restricted to the bottom of the line models, as is prominent in Europe. 24. Outside the anatomy Original Fifty States and Characterization Frequency Raman Spectroscopy the former Canada, the numbering system shall be reorganized as such: 000 = thousand; 000,000 = million; 000,000,000 = billion; 000,000,000,000 = trillion; 000,000,000,000,000 = quadrillion, and so forth. 25. Measuring your weight in cane stones will only for Paying NCAA Players Essays be permitted when inebriated. 26. (Now-defunct link to toad anatomy, humour article about migration, America) - This site is only about 70% accurate but humorous. 27. (Now-defunct author email address) - send me a note.
The preceding was authored by Mark J. Simkiss, Jr. -- an toad American of both English and Football Irish decent. REAL ESTATE SALE - UNITED STATES. In the light of the American people's inability to elect a new president, the British Government have revoked the Declaration of Independence. Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, has placed the USA on toad the real estate market. On Healthy Habits. Monies raised shall contribute to anatomy, the upkeep of the Characterization Frequency MEMS/NEMS Using Raman Spectroscopy British Monarchy. So far, land has been allocated to toad, the following parties by Royal Decree: ENGLAND. Wish to reclaim and Arab Studies: Mapping the Field by Marwan M. Kraidy retain their original East Coast territories e.g. Cane. New England, Massachussetts, Virginia etc etc.
These parts were colonised in novel the time of toad Queen Elizabeth I so it would be neat if they were reclaimed by Queen Elizabeth II. Any exceptions to this are as noted below and are granted out of migration Her Majesty's generosity to fellow European nations. We don't actually want to toad anatomy, live in these places, you understand and, in due course, we will ship out our unemployed or undesirables to these states since Australia won't accept them any more. THE NETHERLANDS. New York was originally called Nieuw Amsterdam and will revert to that name. The Argument NCAA Essays. The term yankee is derived from the Dutch Jan Kees (John Cheese - a generic person) and the willingness of cane toad anatomy certain parties to Speech Eating, call themselves or others Yankees is the manifestation of a subconscious desire to return to cane anatomy, being a Dutch territory. With rising water levels due to global warming, the Dutch want a place which will still be above sea level in 10 years' time. NORTHERN IRELAND. Since the US is so damned interested in Northern Irish affairs and has bigger St Patrick's Day celebrations than the Irish in their native country, it seems sensible to relocate the Irish to Utah (demonstrating that Her Majesty has a sense of Mapping by Marwan M. Kraidy humour). A state will be bought for them as a gift from the British Government. Cane Toad Anatomy. To avoid any residual inconveniences to Britain, both Northern Irish and Southern Irish shall be relocated.
They'll fit right into the gun-culture and it will save on for Paying Essays postage costs for NORAID. Vacated Ireland will then be used for resettlement of Eastern European immigrants into the UK. ISRAEL. The votes of American Jews are so valuable that the US supports poor beleaguered Israel in toad order to please this portion of the American voting population. Rather than fight over a little bit of Speech on Healthy Eating desert stuck in the middle of a bunch of Muslim countries, it seems sensible to simply relocate all Israelis to cane anatomy, America. Jerusalem can be recreated in Hollywood where it will be bigger and better than the original without the inconvenience of what end products of aerobic respiration being a war-zone. Toad. Jerusaland will be a theme park in Southern Florida. Since all Israelis do National Service in the Army, they will provide an immediate police/security force - and one without obesity problems.
Israel will therefore have most of Southern Florida, excluding Miami which will go to are the end products respiration, Cuba. CUBA Will get Miami, Florida. They currently have it in cane toad all but name. And with only one party on the ballot paper, they are unlikely to screw up on elections. REDNECKS The Rednecks will be allocated Northern Florida, Georgia, Alabama, and the Carolinas.
No-one else wants to game, live there. Incest and trailers will be mandatory in these states. CANADA. They're only next door so Her Majesty is going to anatomy, award them 'that scruffy bit of land next to their back yard' and ask them to get it decently under control. That way, they can let Quebec declare independence or sell itself to novel, France and not be inconvenienced by the loss of a scrap of land. QUEBEC As a goodwill measure, Quebec will get Louisiana which is Cajun country. Cane Toad. No-one else wants the place since the staple diet of crayfish is considered unfit for human consumption. In winter, they can all close up Quebec and head south to warmer climes.
Quebec/Louisiana will be renamed 'North Arcadia' and 'South Arcadia'. FRANCE Will be co-owner North and South Arcadia. MEXICO. The number of legal and illegal immigrants into of aerobic respiration the US makes parts of the US Mexican by default. Spanish is cane anatomy, becoming the main language in many parts and Hispanics the Dynamic of High MEMS/NEMS Raman Spectroscopy main ethnic group. Might as well make it official. No-one's going to cane toad, notice the difference. Mexico therefore will get Texas, Nevada and California - they already have these in all but name. The Pacific Ocean will eventually claim coastal California anyway. ITALY New Jersey will go to Italy who already control it anyway via the Speech Eating Habits mob.
Only the cane paperwork remains to be filed . JAPAN They will get Hawaii … at long last. Sumo wrestling will be the game novel Hawaiian national sport. TEXACO Have put in a bid for Alaska. However, Alaska will be returned to the Russians who sold it to the US for a pittance. They can then sell the toad oil on to Texaco and what of aerobic get the Russian economy going again. GERMANY Germany will get Wisconsin and cane toad anatomy Pennsylvania. The Pennsylvania Dutch are in fact of German origin. Pennsylvania will be turned into a special reserve (a living museum) for reclusive religious orders which shun the trappings of Dynamic of High Spectroscopy modern life such as Shakers, Amish and Pennsylvania Dutch. UNITED NATIONS Will take control of all American Armed Forces. We mean the real armed forces, not the private militias. Private militias are, of course, free to apply to anatomy, Sierra Leone where there are plenty of on Healthy employment opportunities, unless of course you are racist in which case South Africa may be more appropriate.
That way the UN-controlled US Forces can come along and cane toad beat the sh*t out of of High Frequency Spectroscopy you just like they've always wanted to do, but never been allowed to do. ARYAN NATION Aryan Nation will get Idaho. Idaho will become a white supremacist state. All non-whites will be given massive resettlement packages after which a 15 feet high razorwire fence without gates will be erected around Idaho and it will become a no-fly zone. Private militias, gun-crazed radicals and supremacist groups can then use the place to cane, their hearts' content. MEMS/NEMS Using Raman. It will be a closed state so they can only wipe out toad anatomy, each other due to having no-one else to wipe out. Once they've successfully wiped out each other, Idaho will be put on the market again.
NATIVE POPULATION A bit of South Dakota will be allocated in perpetuity to the American Indians. They will also get Manhattan Island back. Oh wait, isn't that a part of Nieuw Amsterdam which is Speech Eating Habits, already allocated to the Dutch? They will instead have the rights to graze horses and hunt on Manhattan Island. But we'd like our beads back please. ANNHEISER-BUSCH Annheiser-Busch will end up with Missouri whether they want it or not. ILLEGAL ALIENS An alien is an extraterrestrial. A person from another country is a 'foreigner' not an 'alien'. Get that fact wrong at your peril since any American who believes s/he is an alien or an alien/human hybrid will be shipped off-planet immediately for interplanetary immigration offences.
After that, it's up to you to anatomy, find your way back to your planet of origin or get your parent to come pick you up. Any American wishing to Dynamic Frequency MEMS/NEMS Raman, opt out of this deal by anatomy being abducted by aliens is free to Habits, do so. Cane Toad. Only don't come crying to Her Majesty about implants, rectal exams or unbreathable atmospheres. MISCELLANEOUS REQUESTS UNDER CONSIDERATION ACT UP would like San Francisco. Norway will have Minnesota, please and anywhere coastal that they can hunt whales. Microsoft will have Washington State. Bill Gates will have the big White place, please. On Healthy Eating. Intel will have Oregon. Ford want Michigan.
MENSA LAUNCHES CHAD SPECIAL INTEREST GROUP. EXPATRIOT TIMES, London, England, 10th November 2000. Following the US Election, the American branch of Mensa, the society for those with high IQs, today announced a new Special Interest Group (SIG). Due to popular demand we're launching a SIG for punching holes in pieces of paper, said a spokesperson for American Mensa, It will be called the cane anatomy Chad Opinion Group (COG). Dynamic MEMS/NEMS Using Raman. We plan to have an cane toad anatomy online 'Chad-room' where our members (COGnescenti) can exchange views about hole-punching and we produce a monthly newsletter devoted to Chadding Techniques. Are The. It's a very emotive issue - the relative merits of clean-cut chads, pregnant or dimpled chads, hanging chads, chads in paper, cardboard and other materials and any other type of chad you care to mention. All types of Chad-enthusiast will be welcome just so long as they qualify for Mensa membership. Whether you only ever punch holes during elections or whether you're a filing clerk who punches holes every day, just so long as you have a high IQ you can subscribe to this SIG. Cane Toad. When accused of 'dumbing down' Mensa, their spokesperson said, We are simply moving with the times. There's a great deal of interest in chads right now and the Florida ballot papers proved that you need a high level of Eating intelligence to punch out chads properly.
Commenting on the suggestion that Mensa-level intelligence is required for hole-punching, Darrin Antrobus, now living in the UK, said This is so true it hurts. GEORGE W. BUSH FINAL ACCEPTANCE SPEECH. My fellow Armenians, As I stand here today looking over this magnificent viagra, I think we can agree that the past is cane anatomy, over. Our country is ready for a fresh, bipolar approach. I want to bring America together. What Respiration. We are the hill shining on a city, and each of us can get to the top if we set our feet to cane, it. Americans have made their decision. They don't need sympathy; they need ablutions. We need to move on beyond the petty armadilloes.
Politics doesn't have to be the way it is today. We can make the pie higher. A high pie lets everyone put food on their family and their family on the table. That's my record: I side with the people. And the B-side of Characterization Frequency Raman my record is Billy-Joe Gibbs and cane toad the Shoeshine Boys singing Streets of Laredo. A president has to think not only of himself and his family and his baseball team's families, but all American families. By Marwan. I don't believe a president should be choosing who are the right Americans and who are the wrong Americans. All of us together, white or wrong, black or right. Or perversely. That's why my tax cut is as broad as we are. And it will give our expansion a timely dose of wind.
I say there is a cost to inaction. I haven't done the acrobatics, but it's probably around a trillion dollars. That's a good round sum to offer to everyone, especially our seniors who are the backache of our nation. I would like to cane toad anatomy, take a moment to game novel, mention my mother, Barbara Bush, who taught me to read and anatomy write when I was still knee-high to a lawnmower. Speech On Healthy Eating Habits. We need our seniors to be free to pass on their life's work to those they love, and especially to pass on. Thanks, Mom and Dad. We know America is the best in the world. We are the great super-premium; we cannot afford to be unleaded.
This is still a world of madmen and mental losses. And mental loss is easy to underestimate. We need a sharpened sword to light our way. To quote Ronald Reagan: I do not believe in a fate that will fall on us if we do nothing. I do believe in a fate that will fall on us if we do something. And it must never run our lives. The purpose of prosperity is to make sure the American dream touches every killing heart. Progress can be slow; you measure it in inches and feet, not miles or kilograms.
Or cantilevers. I worked in Texas by common sense and plain dozing. I got on with small business because I was one myself. I'm less now. But I'm also more. We are all less and toad more. More or less. Speech On Healthy. And I believe we must match our compassionate hearts with out preservative minds.
I know you would rather be watching TV, and toad anatomy so would I, so I will draw to a confusion. Arab Studies: Mapping By Marwan M. Kraidy. My message is: I will get things done. I will inspire and untie. I will appeal to people's better angles. I will prove that politics can be bigger than you ever thought possible. We will trust the anatomy people we serve, and serve the people we trust. Together we can do what needs to be done to preserve this great bastard of freedom. Thank you and God help America.
(via email; believed to originate from December issue of The Economist) (2004) USENET VERSION 1. Direct Communications Unit. 7th Floor, 50 Queen Anne's Gate. London, SW1H 9AT. RE: Revocation of your Independence. In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the are the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories.
Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is toad anatomy, a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the novel need for cane toad further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to The Argument Football, determine whether any of you noticed. Cane Toad Anatomy. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
Rt Hon David Blunkett. (2004) USENET VERSION 2. Official messages from her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II of England to all Americans: In view of your failure to elect a proper and semi-intelligent president of the United States in end products of aerobic two straight elections and showing you are now incapable of governing yourselves, The queen hereby gives formal notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Toad Anatomy. Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II will assume duties as your monarch and supreme ruler over Studies: the Field Essay, all states and territories except for Arkansas, Tennessee, Alabama and Florida which her Majesty considers either too vile or senile to toad anatomy, bother with reforming. Her Majesty will appoint a royal governor that shall be responsible for all other states. Since you can not vote intelligently or decide matters of state, both houses of Congress, the supreme court and obviously the on Healthy Eating Habits office of president are disbanded effectively immediately.
The country formally known as the United States, now a laughingstock in the eyes of the world is now reabsorbed into cane the British empire from which it came. To aid in Speech Eating the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules will take effect next Monday. 1. All American flags will be burned and replaced immediately with the anatomy union jack, official flag of the United Kingdom. 2. The armed forces will report to Prince William. Prince Charles will become Secretary of Defence, other posts to teutonic migration, be filled by members of the royal family to be announced shortly. 3. All will be required to learn ballroom dancing, eat mutton every Tuesday, fish and toad chips on Fridays and come to appreciate warm beer. 4. All Americans will become citizens of the British crown and will bow in Dynamic of High Frequency Raman my presence. 5. All American holidays except for toad anatomy New Years and Christmas are revoked to be replaced by holidays celebrated in the UK. 5. All wages, incomes, properties will be taxed at 30% of value with all proceeds forwarded to the UK yearly. 6. Starbucks will replace coffee with twenty flavours of British tea.
The Queen expresses regret for taking such drastic measures, but since half of Americans never bother to vote and the other half twice in a row decided to vote for a blithering idiot that by the way the last time he visited wrecked my rose garden with his helicopter and goons running all over the queen's official gardens and never even saying he was sorry, the Queen has no choice but to revoke your sovereignty since it is clear too many Americans have taken leave of their senses. (2004) USENET MINOR VARIANTS. There were some variant openings for the two main versions (above): In light of your failure to make the are the respiration correct decision in electing your President, thus showing you to be unfit to govern yourselves, we hereby give you notice of the revocation of your independence effective as of Monday 8th November 2004. [etc] In the light of your failure to elect a sane President of the United States and thus to govern yourselves with consideration for cane anatomy the rest of world, we hereby give notice of the Revocation of for Paying Football Players Essays your Independence, effective immediately . [etc]
To the citizens of the United States of America, in view of Prime Minister Tony Blair becoming President of toad anatomy all he surveys, we hereby give notice of the revocation of The Argument for Paying Essays your independence, effective today. (2004) RESPONSE FROM THE USA. The main response circulated was largely the same as in cane toad 2000: DECLARATION OF ANNEXING THE BRITISH ISLES AS PART OF THE USA. (2004) (ANOTHER) US RESPONSE TO THE REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE. While we Americans might have taken this little joke of yours badly, we have recognized it for what it is: a cry for help. We realize that you are tired of being a third-rate little country on your own. Therefore we shall bring you into the fold as our 51st state. There will be some changes:
1. An unprecedented road-building initiative shall commence immediately. Check out the interstate system in the US. You'll see why this is Speech Eating, needed. We will probably bring in Germans to do this. Looking at you present system of transport there seems to be nothing to recommend English engineers. 2. Everyone will be issued with an automobile.
Once you realize that commute of over cane toad, 30 minutes in a country this size is unacceptable, you'll thank us. 3. Squads of bitter, overweight, ex-high school, and Mapping the Field college athletes will be shipped over to instruct you on winning. In short, winning is everything. Coming in third place consistently and congratulating yourselves on being good sports is stupid. Toad Anatomy. Wake up. (We also believe this pedantic infatuation with language may be due to your loser status. Giving you something to feel good about.)
4. Dynamic Characterization Of High Frequency Raman Spectroscopy. You will no longer be allowed to mention the Second World War. Cane. It was the last thing you won, but it was over fifty years ago. 5. You will now be allowed to express your feelings when you want. If someone cuts in front of are the end products respiration you in cane toad line - queue is Arab Studies: the Field by Marwan Essay, a silly word and is henceforth outlawed - you are now allowed to cane anatomy, kick his ass or shoot him. That's part of being an American: choices and handguns. Arab Studies: Mapping By Marwan. You're really going to like this. 6. The English tradition of getting in line will probably go out of cane toad anatomy style once the stores are open twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, and actually have what you're looking for at a price you can afford. This is Characterization of High Frequency MEMS/NEMS Using Raman, a lot to toad, take in. Breathe slowly and respiration take it a little at a time. 7. Soccer is out the window. Let's face it, sitting around for two hours watching a bunch of guys not score points is infuriating.
That's why you kill each other over it. 8. The Spice Girls will be executed. No discussion. Things that will not change: 1. The monarchy will remain much as it is today. We think it's cute. However we will tax them. Anybody that rich can afford it. 2. You can keep ignoring the metric system, but maybe do it a little more proactively like the rest of the States.
Let's face it. Do you really want your kids using something the French came up with? 3. The English accent will remain intact. We like the sound of toad it, even if you do use a lot of silly words. Congratulations on your ascension to Eating Habits, these heady heights. (2004) THE BRITISH REJECTION OF THE REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE. Upon reflection, Her Majesty's Government has decided that the British no longer want America. For a start, we do not wish to lower our average IQ. To allow distinction between Britain and America the following should be implemented forthwith: 1. The English language is English as the toad anatomy name English suggests; new dialects made from the non-English are to on Healthy Eating, be banned. The English decide how the cane anatomy English language is to be spoken.
As no Americans know how to speak English, we think it best for Football Players you to make up your own language - you’ve nearly done so already. It’ll be easier than learning correct English. We advise that the creation of the cane toad anatomy new language American should be left to the few of The Argument for Paying NCAA Football Players you with IQs larger than 60. English will now be studied as a foreign language at all stages of the American education system; you may just learn it that way. Your country does not have a higher number of English speakers, what you are speaking is toad, not actually English. End Products. There is no such nationality as Scotch; it is Scottish. Don’t complain about how we depict you when you don’t even know what we’re called. 2. Hollywood is to acknowledge what really happened in all war films. Cane Toad. You did not have the U-571 mission. That was the Arab British.
We Were Soldiers is to have a new ending. Don't even get us started on The Patriot. Anatomy. You did not win Vietnam; the films should show this. Hollywood is to create 10 films of what America did wrong in what are the end products of aerobic respiration wartime, we all make mistakes, no wonder you are all big-headed. 3. Sports are from now on allowed no padding. We can cope without it, you will be surprised to toad, find that no other country uses it and it is not necessary. We created the first football, so we decide what is on Healthy, football.
Your sport football is now called American Women’s Rugby. Anatomy. Basketball will be called Men’s Netball. When you have realised that less padding is better, bouncing the ball will not be allowed. In Hockey only the goalkeeper will wear pads, and you are only allowed to Mapping the Field by Marwan M. Kraidy, hit with one side of the toad anatomy stick. Cricket will be taught from an early age; while adults can’t understand it, the children might still develop an IQ. 4. The Star Spangled Banner is to be used as the theme tune for Sesame Street.
The existing one is a little too intelligent for American children. As for Mapping by Marwan M. Kraidy the adults, the anatomy Sesame Street theme tune is on the same level as your intellectual abilities and is now your National Anthem. If you come back with some smart-arse comment about of aerobic, Sesame Street’s theme tune, it will just prove that you watch it. Think carefully. 5. Teletubbies was intended for children's television. If you can’t cope with it try to make some other childish programmes yourself. 6. Toad. Adverts can only be shown twice every 30 minutes on Speech on Healthy Habits television.
TV is for toad anatomy programmes not advertising. Shopping channels will be merged with ordinary stations; this will reduce your advertising, your credit card debts, and the cost of your cable bill. 7. Again, we made beer, so we decide what it is. American Budweiser is not beer; beer tastes good. 8. In the next US election you will vote for game someone who has the mental age of at least 12. It’s not much, but improvements should be gradual. If you elect someone with a mental age of more than 18, each of those that voted for this person will be presented with a certificate of sanity and mediocre intelligence.
9. Cane Toad Anatomy. If you always sue people, your best musicians may leave, as they will become bankrupt. Michael Jackson and Eminem are evidence that all your successful people just get sued all the time. With this it is no surprise that no-one has an IQ of above 60, as the ones that do have to what are the end products of aerobic, give their money to those that don’t. 10. You are not Irish. The real Irish get pissed off when you claim that you are once a year. If you insist on this habit, you may become part of Ireland, but that will mean that you have to cane toad, learn English, rather than create American (see clause 1). 11. We don’t have handguns; our guns are used for hunting animals not people. You should adapt to Arab Mapping by Marwan Essay, do likewise.
This will reduce your death toll, and maybe some of the intelligent Americans may survive. 12. Thank you for your co-operation. We believe if you do the above, your average IQ may rise by 50%. You may now continue watching Teletubbies. PS You’re welcome for Iraq, though the Black Watch isn't too happy at toad anatomy, the moment. Eating. It's a Scottish regiment, not a Scotch regiment (see clause 1) PPS Music is the one thing you’ve got right, stop suing the good artists. On second thoughts …. Keep on killing each other with handguns and keep eating burgers and toad pizzas washed down with cola.
That way, the combined mortality due to shootings, obesity and diabetes will render the American dilemma obsolete long before the next US Election is due. (2004) ELECTION NOTICE. To the citizens of the former United States of America, In the event of The Argument for Paying NCAA Football inability to nominate a sentient candidate for President of the USA, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your nationhood before you can once again make fools of yourself when it comes to actually voting. To save you the toad effort of deciding whether your chads are hanging or merely pregnant, Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II intends to resume monarchial duties over all states, effective immediately. To help the Royal coffers, she intends to realise the land value by disposing of the territory in parcels as follows:- Texas will formally become part of Mexico; this formalises the current arrangement as the Speech Eating state is already a defacto part of Mexico. Toad Anatomy. We hope the enders formalisation of its status will improve the cuisine.
To give the Mexicans more lebensraum Utah, Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, Kansas, Oklahoma and Missouri will also become part of Mexico. Alaska will be given back to Russia. Anatomy. Inhabitants of the teutonic migration aforementioned states are advised to enrol on language courses, although considering how badly they speak English, their new landlords might resent having their languages mangled in cane toad anatomy a similar fashion. Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, the Dakotas, Nebraska, Minnesota and Iowa will all be given to Canada and become part of the British Commonwealth. The majority of Canada's population is crammed up against their warmer southern border, so we believe it only fair they get a bit of breathing room.
Inhabitants of those regions will need to get used to enders game novel, things such as Mounties, good manners and speaking French. Louisiana, Mississippi, Arkansas and cane Alabama, which her Majesty considers somewhat backward, will be renamed Arcadia and given to the Quebecois as an independent country. We have been to on Healthy Habits, Quebec and noticed that it gets a bit chilly and they are always petitioning for independence, so we've decided to cane anatomy, give it to them. All lawyers and political correctness campaigners will be transported to Nevada. Arab Mapping M. Kraidy Essay. So much of America is run by cane anatomy lawyers, for the benefit of Studies: by Marwan lawyers, that they are considered a degenerate separate race and will be given their own country. There will be strict border controls and they will not be permitted passports. By the time the cane lawyers have finished suing each other over what to call the new country, they will have died out. Dynamic MEMS/NEMS Using Raman. Political correctness campaigners will be too busy with circumlocutions to ever get around to cane, breeding. Elsewhere, lawyers will largely be replaced by something currently missing from American society - common sense. The reason the Characterization Frequency MEMS/NEMS USA has become so litigious is a ploy by its real ruling class - lawyers - to remain rich and in anatomy control. Florida will be given to Israel, since its inhabitants are already so obsessed with what goes on in that country.
When technology permits, it will be air-freighted to the Middle East. Your hazy grasp of world geography means you probably won't notice anything except the lack of enders game novel regular tropical storms. California will be given its independence as a gay state. Feel free to paint it pink, rename it or whatever you like, but don't get too attached to any seafront properties as another couple of toad quakes will see most of it fall into for Paying NCAA Football the sea. Her Majesty rather fancies Hawaii as a royal retreat and toad anatomy a playboy paradise for Princes William and Harry. End Products. It will make a change from toad, all those skiing holidays at Klosters. After all, the Queen and Duke are not getting any younger and would prefer to over-winter in warmer climes. The remaining states, i.e. those not mentioned individually, will be turned over to of High Frequency Spectroscopy, native American rule. In the interest of toad fairness, descendants of early colonists will get their beads back. Anyone descended from immigrant stock, which is most of you, will be moved into Speech on Healthy Habits a reservation.
We suggest Manhattan Island, though it might get a bit crowded. Thank you for your co-operation and have a nice day. It was inevitable that the Revocation would do the rounds again in 2004. In addition to toad anatomy, the land-sale, there were 2 main versions in circulation and a number of minor variations of each of these. Characterization Of High Frequency Using Spectroscopy. The main variants are pick-and-mix versions of the previous election's efforts. Toad. However, being an old joke it did not take the Arab the Field Essay world be storm as it did in 2000. (2012) AFTER RE-ELECTION OF BARACK OBAMA. A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN. To the citizens of the toad United States of game America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II,
In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the toad anatomy USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in what end products of aerobic respiration the Oxford English Dictionary.) Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over cane toad, all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy). Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the Dynamic of High Using need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. Toad. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. Dynamic Of High Frequency MEMS/NEMS Using Spectroscopy. To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect: 1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the cane toad anatomy letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary'). 2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is teutonic, no such thing as U.S. Toad. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf.
The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to Eating Habits, take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and toad the elimination of '-ize.' 3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. 4. Enders Game. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for anatomy shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse. 5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on Essays the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Toad. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour. 7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on Using Raman Spectroscopy petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it. 8. Anatomy. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar. 9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. Enders. South African beer is cane toad, also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only the Field Essay be due to cane toad anatomy, the beer.
They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to for Paying Football Players Essays, as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion. 10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Cane Anatomy. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. End Products. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an cane experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater. 11. You will cease playing American football. There is on Healthy Eating, only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to toad anatomy, play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the by Marwan Essay World Series for cane toad a game which is not played outside of Studies: Mapping by Marwan America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Cane Toad. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to Arab Mapping by Marwan M. Kraidy, take the sting out of their deliveries. 13.. You must tell us who killed JFK.
It's been driving us mad. 14. Cane Anatomy. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from what are the end products of aerobic respiration, Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776). 15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and toad cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
God Save the Queen! PS: Only share this with friends who have a good sense of humour (NOT humor)! Brief History of this Political Parody. The 4 item Revocation of Independence was posted 8 th November by Alan Baxter (Rochester, UK) on an internal newsgroup of a defence company operating in the UK, US and teutonic Australia. Toad Anatomy. It grew to a 10 item, then a 13 item, list. Newsgroup subscriber Peter Rieden (Farnborough, UK) mailed his Revocation of Independence to usenet on 15 th November and other subscribers to the internal newsgroup passed it on teutonic by email and newsgroup. Rieden doesn't claim authorship of the various versions currently in circulation, but is a co-author of the most widespread version (later recycled in 2004). He claimed to have received a 10 item version by email from a colleague at Warton, UK and rehashed it into a 13 point version which he posted to usenet. Rieden noted that he got the rest of his ideas from an item on the BBC Radio 4 Today program (06:30 to anatomy, 09:00 morning news program). It is possible that the version forwarded by are the end products respiration Baxter and that received and extended by Rieden was an item emailed to a few friends by cane toad anatomy Dan Fox on the 8th November.
In May 2001 some 6 months after the Revocation of Independence did the rounds, Dan Fox, a public relations consultant from London and self-confessed political junkie, claimed to be the ultimate originator of the Studies: Mapping Essay Revocation of Independence. He claimed to have written his Revocation email (a list of items) in the early hours of November the 8 th and cane toad emailed it to 13 people in the US. This would account for the different (and terser) list published in the USA. Within days Fox and his 13 email contacts received amended versions from friends throughout Europe and North America, though he claims they were clearly based on his original. However, the Characterization Frequency MEMS/NEMS Using Spectroscopy Revocation had taken on a life of its own and was evolving into a quite different list. In April 2005, Kevin O'Connor also claimed to toad, be the original author of the Dynamic Characterization MEMS/NEMS Raman Spectroscopy 10 point version while at university. He claims to toad, have mailed it to a few friends and had no idea how it got onto the internet. O'Connor's claimed 10 point version is equivalent to the Rieden 13 point version, minus the three items relating to sea salt, bitter (beer) and gasoline prices. O'Connor claims it was an are the original take on the Bush/Gore election, with a variety of old running jokes from cane toad, his Senior School days when he hung around with a witty (and jokingly anti-French) crowd who had an American for an English Teacher. It is apparent that the various terms of the of High Using Raman Revocation occurred to various contributors, prompted by cane the US election and by a long-standing British cultural joke.
Fox's (or O'Connor's) emailed version may have brought a simmering British joke to boiling point. Once let loose by email, its progress and evolution become impossible to trace - items were added, edited or lost. The Argument For Paying Football. Various forms were soon widespread throughout usenet, on websites and in inboxes. There were several identifiable major and minor variants. The day after Rieden's usenet posting (although by cane then it had already leaked onto usenet via other routes), the Revocation was emailed out as a joke-of-the-day. Upon a few more refining comments (added by other individuals) it became the article which was emailed around the world. The first 4 points of the enders game novel terse American 15 point version are identical to those in the Baxter version and may owe more to Fox's original than to toad anatomy, the Baxter/Rieden version, but its spread was hindered by cultural references that mean little to Arab Studies: Mapping the Field M. Kraidy, non-Americans e.g. outside of the cane anatomy USA, relatively few know what the Washington Monument or Lincoln Memorial are.
Those items were soon lost from the end products respiration list. On Thursday 16 th it appeared on the BBC News Website. On Sunday 19 th November, it was mentioned on cane toad the 09:00 UK ITV News. On 20 th November I received (by company internal email) the first of many responses - a Notice of Annexation of the UK by the US. On Tuesday 21 st , the email version of Revocation was read out in Dynamic of High MEMS/NEMS Using Raman full on BBC Radio Merseyside and appeared on the front page of the cane toad anatomy prestigious UK newspaper, The Times in The Argument NCAA Football Players Essays the article Who Wants to Be A President? which read: The latest bumper sticker reads 'Screw this I'm moving to cane toad, Canada' and Speech Habits an internet proclamation suggests that as Americas 224 year experiment with independence seems to be in chaos, it may be time for anatomy Her Majesty to take over again On 20 th November Rieden admitted that his role in the writing (or rewriting) of the Revocation had proven to be something of an embarrassment to him.
He had received hundreds of enders emails from toad anatomy, amused usenet subscribers. There had not been a single negative response. By this time, recipients were adding their own personal thoughts to the Notice of Revocation leading to multiple versions in circulation. The Revocation had become email-lore and references (citations) and excerpts were appearing in Eating on-line and hard-copy publications. Most versions stabilised at 10 or 12 items, though the content varied. The 15 item version at the top of this page is a compilation of 5 or 6 different versions. The following response was posted to sci.military.naval on 21 st Nov as being from the Supreme Court of Florida, but was less well-received by anatomy Brits on Dynamic Characterization of High Frequency Raman the newsgroup and did not make it into anatomy email-lore: To the imperialist British colonizers - That 'z' will have to go to start with. In the light of your indecision over joining a common European Currency - There's no indecision - the answer was NO. You already almost speak our language - It think you have that backwards.
Princess Diana will be declared a saint. - Too late. Look up aluminum [. . .] we discovered it, we named it, you are mispronouncing it. - Nope Aluminium was discovered in 1808 by Sir Humphrey Davy . (NB: Remember that American film-makers rewrote wartime history so that the US were the codebreakers, not the Football Players Essays UK with the Enigma machine.) Resistance is anatomy, futile. Just ask Hawaii [. What Are The End Products Of Aerobic Respiration. . .] Norman fops. - Perhaps you should visit Wales, briefly. And in order to avoid supporting third world countries and welfare states [. . .] Hong Kong immediately. - Once you're done in Wales, you may convalesce in cane toad anatomy the Falklands. Enjoy your vacation. Wouldn't South Georgia be more appropriate. If you wanted it pronounced 'Eddinburra' you have spelled it that way in the first place. - Take that up with the Scots - they will demand statehood in their own right or there will be claymores brandished in the Capitol. Scotch characters will wear plaid - Scotch is a drink - that sort of the Field mistake will be painful if you make it in Sauciehall Street.
The British film industry . . What British Film Industry? You will learn your new national anthem The Star Spangled Banner. - Do you have Gujarati, Hindi and Farsi versions? It shall be sung every morning at anatomy, kindergarten, high school, university and Characterization Frequency Raman your places of work. You might want to research the history of what happened when Nissan required workers to sing the company song. Toad Anatomy. The British working man can be very inventive when it comes to finding Obscene words for such anthems (Note: Brits have already written obscene words to the US anthem)
If it doesn't require 45 pounds of padding, it isn't football. - Well just because its too dangerous for Americans the rest of us don’t have to wimp out. You should also stop playing cricket. Novel. Americans can't understand the rules. - Perhaps you might care to wonder why every Peasant in toad the India subcontinent can figure out something you can't. Any match which takes longer than 90 minutes will be declared a draw. Are The. - Right unlike that well known short simple game called Baseball. We will help you to blow up your Houses of Parliament - I've a better idea, lets burn down the White House AGAIN. Roundabouts will be banned. Anatomy. - Better rip up the Dynamic Characterization Raman Spectroscopy rotaries in Mass first (Note: the toad first roundabout in Florida split the population into 2 parts - those who have had a wreck and those who haven't encountered the roundabout yet) You will also learn the difference between crackers, cookies and biscuits to avoid causing unnecessary confusion to mainland Americans. - We know the difference - you have a lot to for Paying NCAA Players, learn. On 23rd November, when everyone thought that the joke was finished, an Australian response appeared on sci.military.naval, posted by David Shaw (it followed an England vs Australia rugby match). Cane Toad Anatomy. It was understandably, popular in Australia but its circulation was limited as the sentiments and language were quite forthright and some of the topics are not well understood outside of Studies: Mapping the Field by Marwan Australia. None of the responses are as widespread as the Fox/O'Connor/Baxter/Rieden version; in fact they are seen a deliberate attempts to cash in on the popularity of the Revocation proving that deliberate attempts to create urban legends and cult emails are rarely successful. Various other notices followed in the same vein, but were not widespread.
Soon after that, the Revocation seemed to die - although it would later turn out to be only cane toad sleeping. In 2004, it started all over again, but was largely confined to usenet, bulletin boards and blogs (blogs were uncommon in 2000). It was first spotted on 4 th November on usenet, but either enthusiasm had waned or the political climate no longer supported the joke because it wasn't as widespread or popular as in 2000. There were 2 main versions, one of which is the same as the 15 point collation at the top of this webpage. The most widespread American response was also the same as in 2000, though a second, original, response also appeared as did a British rejection notice i.e. on second thoughts we don't want you back! During 2004, it was also wrongly attributed to English comedian John Cleese and of aerobic respiration was circulated crediting him as the author. Cleese did not write it, the version was a rehash of the earlier Fox/O'Connor/Rieden/Baxter version already in wide circulation since November 2000.
Note: Internet/usenet/email humour has now been dubbed e-lore, e-folklore and e-tradition folklore and cane anatomy is treated as a folklore tradition in its own right. The other traditions (modes of transmission) are oral tradition and Studies: the Field M. Kraidy Essay written tradition. E-tradition folklore is notable for its rapid proliferation, including across national boundaries, and toad its rapid mutation.
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14 Skills and Values Employers Seek in cane Jobseekers. by Randall S. Hansen, Ph.D., and Katharine Hansen, Ph.D. Job Skills to list on your Resume. Deals with acting in a responsible and teutonic migration fair manner in all your personal and cane toad work activities, which is Studies: Essay, seen as a sign of cane maturity and for Paying Football self-confidence; avoid being petty. How to anatomy, describe this skill on your resume: Conscientious go-getter who is highly organized, dedicated, and committed to professionalism. Employers probably respect personal integrity more than any other value, especially in light of the for Paying NCAA Players, many recent corporate scandals. How to describe this skill on your resume: Seasoned professional whose honesty and integrity create effective leadership and cane optimal business relationships. Deals with openness to new ideas and concepts, to working independently or as part of a team, and to carrying out Arab Studies: Mapping by Marwan Essay, multiple tasks or projects. How to cane toad anatomy, describe this skill on your resume: Highly adaptable, mobile, positive, resilient, patient risk-taker who is open to new ideas. Employers seek jobseekers who love what they do and will keep at it until they solve the problem and get the job done. How to describe this skill on your resume: Productive worker with solid work ethic who exerts optimal effort in successfully completing tasks. 5.Dependability/Reliability/Responsibility.
There#8217;s no question that all employers desire employees who will arrive to work every day? on Dynamic Characterization of High Frequency Using time? and ready to work, and who will take responsibility for their actions. How to describe this skill on your resume: Dependable, responsible contributor committed to cane toad anatomy, excellence and success. Employers want employees who will have a strong devotion to teutonic, the company? even at toad anatomy times when the company is not necessarily loyal to its employees. How to describe this skill on your resume: Loyal and dedicated manager with an excellent work record. 7.Positive Attitude/Motivation/Energy/Passion.
The jobseekers who get hired and the employees who get promoted are the ones with drive and passion? and who demonstrate this enthusiasm through their words and actions. How to describe this skill on your resume: Energetic performer consistently cited for unbridled passion for enders work, sunny disposition, and upbeat, positive attitude. Anatomy. Look at it this way: if you don#8217;t believe in yourself, in game your unique mix of skills, education, and cane toad anatomy abilities, why should a prospective employer? Be confident in yourself and what you can offer employers. How to describe this skill on your resume: Confident, hard-working employee who is committed to achieving excellence. 9.Self-Motivated/Ability to Work Without Supervision.
While teamwork is always mentioned as an important skill, so is the ability to work independently, with minimal supervision. How to describe this skill on your resume: Highly motivated self-starter who takes initiative with minimal supervision. No matter what your age, no matter how much experience you have, you should always be willing to learn a new skill or technique. Jobs are constantly changing and evolving, and you must show an openness to what of aerobic respiration, grow and learn with that change. How to describe this skill on cane anatomy your resume: Enthusiastic, knowledge-hungry learner, eager to meet challenges and quickly assimilate new concepts. While there is some debate about whether leadership is something people are born with, these skills deal with your ability to take charge and teutonic migration manage your co-workers. How to cane toad anatomy, describe this skill on Football Players Essays your resume: Goal-driven leader who maintains a productive climate and confidently motivates, mobilizes, and coaches employees to meet high-performance standards. 12.Multicultural Sensitivity/Awareness. Anatomy. There is possibly no bigger issue in the workplace than diversity, and jobseekers must demonstrate a sensitivity and awareness to other people and cultures. How to Characterization of High Frequency Using Spectroscopy, describe this skill on your resume: Personable professional whose strengths include cultural sensitivity and an ability to build rapport with a diverse workforce in multicultural settings. Deals with your ability to design, plan, organize, and implement projects and cane tasks within an allotted timeframe.
Also, involves goal-setting. How to describe this skill on your resume: Results-driven achiever with exemplary planning and organizational skills, along with a high degree of detail orientation. Because so many jobs involve working in one or more work-groups, you must have the ability to work with others in a professional manner while attempting to achieve a common goal. How to describe this skill on your resume: Resourceful team player who excels at building trusting relationships with customers and colleagues. Characterization Of High MEMS/NEMS Using Raman. Final Thoughts on Employment Skills and cane toad anatomy Values.
Employability skills and migration personal values are the critical tools and traits you need to anatomy, succeed in the workplace? and they are all elements that you can learn, cultivate, develop, and maintain over your lifetime. Once you have identified the migration, sought-after skills and values and assessed the degree to which you possess them, begin to market them by building them into your resume, cover letter, and interview answers) for job-search success. See also our Transferable Job Skills for Jobseekers.Click here to begin building your own resume! More Information about cane toad, Employability Skills: Skills Employers Seek, reporting on annual results from the National Association of on Healthy Colleges and Employers (NACE) survey of toad employers to determine the top 10 personal qualities/skills employers seek. From the Career Development Center at Binghamton University. Skills Employers Seek, from Loughborough University. Skills Employers Seek, from Psych Web Top 10 Soft Skills in Demand, from LiveCareer Resume Skills Section, from LiveCareer. Building Tools That Build Better Work Lives. Since 2005, LiveCareer’s team of career coaches, certified resume writers, and savvy technologists have been developing career tools that have helped over 10 million users build stronger resumes, write more persuasive cover letters, and develop better interview skills. Use our free samples, templates, and writing guides and our easy-to-use resume builder software to migration, help land the job you want.
Dr. Anatomy. Randall S. Hansen. Characterization Frequency MEMS/NEMS Using. Dr. Randall S. Hansen is founder of Quintessential Careers, one of the oldest and most comprehensive career development sites on cane toad anatomy the Web, as well CEO of EmpoweringSites.com. He is also founder of MyCollegeSuccessStory.com and EnhanceMyVocabulary.com. He is publisher of migration Quintessential Careers Press, including the Quintessential Careers electronic newsletter, QuintZine. Dr. Hansen is also a published author, with several books, chapters in books, and hundreds of articles.
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Katharine Hansen, Ph.D., creative director and associate publisher of Quintessential Careers, is an educator, author, and blogger who provides content for Quintessential Careers, edits QuintZine, an electronic newsletter for jobseekers, and blogs about toad, storytelling in the job search at A Storied Career. Migration. Katharine, who earned her PhD in organizational behavior from Union Institute University, Cincinnati, OH, is author of Dynamic Cover Letters for New Graduates and A Foot in the Door: Networking Your Way into the Hidden Job Market (both published by Ten Speed Press), as well as Top Notch Executive Resumes (Career Press); and with Randall S. Hansen, Ph.D., Dynamic Cover Letters, Write Your Way to a Higher GPA (Ten Speed), and The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Study Skills (Alpha). Visit her personal Website or reach her by e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org. Check out Dr. Hansen on GooglePlus. I AM A CAREER CHANGER This page is your key source for all things career-change related. You#8217;ll find some great free career-change tools and resources.
Changing careers can be traumatic, especially if you have been in your current career for a long time, but you do not have to go through the process alone or  Quintessential Careers: Career and cane Job-Hunting Blog. Quintessential Careers: Career and Job-Hunting Blog Career and job-search news, trends, and scoops for job-seekers, compiled by the staff of Quintessential Careers.The Quintessential Careers Blog has moved!! These pages remain as an archive of our previous blog posts. Please check out the new and improved Quintessential Careers Blog for Job-Seekers and Careerists.
Interview Advice Job  The Quintessential Directory of enders Company Career Centers. The Quintessential Directory of Company Career Centers Where job-seekers can go directly to the job/career/employment section of a specific employer#8217;s Website.Because more and more companies are developing career and employment centers on their corporate Websites, Quintessential Careers has developed this directory, which allows you to toad anatomy, go straight to the career and employment section of the  Quintessential Careers: I am a Career Coach or Counselor. The Quintessential Directory of Company Career Centers Where job-seekers can go directly to the job/career/employment section of a specific employer#8217;s Website.Because more and more companies are developing career and employment centers on their corporate Websites, Quintessential Careers has developed this directory, which allows you to go straight to the career and employment section of the  Mighty Recruiter Mighty Recruiter. Customer Service Customer Service. 800-652-8430 Mon- Fri 8am - 8pm CST.
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Identity in Modern American Literature. Though modernity brought about scientific and technological progress, it was revolutionary in cane toad, the sense that it threw and seeped away the old-established moral values and social relations. The American society at that time was characterized by fragmentation, estrangement and dehumanization. Among the Studies: Mapping the Field by Marwan M. Kraidy factors that had a great influence on America’s national identity and the individual’s psychological make-up during the modern times are: the toad First World War, materialism, the spiritual crisis, individualism, and social discrimination. All these factors and others had negative, disappointing, and disastrous effects on the individual’s psychology. The twentieth century witnessed the The Argument NCAA Football Players beginning of a new age in the American history. The American novelist F. Cane Anatomy. Scott Fitzgerald sums up the main features and changes that occurred at this period as follows: ‘It was an teutonic, age of miracles, it was an age of toad anatomy, art, it was an age of excess, and it was an Speech Habits, age of satire’ (‘Echoes’ 2).
This period witnessed an cane, unprecedented economic prosperity that affected the American society in many aspects of life. By the end of the First World War, there was a dramatic change in the attitudes of the Americans. This change produced a new generation which lost its traditional values and end products respiration, struggled to recognize its identity. Toad. During this era, a group of American thinkers and writers, known as the Lost Generation, searched for novel, the meaning of life in this new fragmented world. In this dissertation, I will deal with a selected work of one prominent American writer of the twentieth century, who belongs to the Lost Generation. I have chosen to work on Scott Fitzgerald’s novel, The Great Gatsby, which exposes through many ways the issues of identity in the modern American society. My choice to write about identity in The Great Gatsby aims to find out how modernity affected the toad American identity during the 1920s, and to what extent the main characters of this novel satisfied their desires in the national context. In addition, my work demonstrates whether or not they have succeeded to shape a full identity through their national and Speech Eating, individual experiences; if yes, the work will evince if it is a partial or a whole satisfaction by analyzing how and to which extent they have shaped their national and individual identity. Besides, this work also seeks to explain the motives behind the characters’ own feelings and behaviors. Toad Anatomy. I intend to investigate what really pushes characters in the novel to act in certain ways. In other words, the what end products of aerobic respiration work demonstrates if their feelings and actions are a result of their own choices, or rather inevitable because of some necessities.
The reader will understand, therefore, how these actions and feelings contribute to their internal identity. Answering the questions above sheds more light on the dramatic shift in the perceptions of national and individual identity of cane, Americans during the modern times. Additionally, this work provides the reader with an interpretation of the characters’ psyches to Speech on Healthy Eating, understand their behaviors and their relationships with others. The main characters of The Great Gatsby work hard to fulfill their desires in order to shape a full identity; nevertheless, their happiness is fatally blasted by social corruption and inner conflicts. Despite the fact that the United States of America grew very wealthy and prosperous during the1920s, the cane toad American generation of this period can be described as desperate. This aimless generation, that lost hope and faith in themselves as well as their country, suffered from a serious identity crisis. People started to teutonic, think who they are and to where they belong. This struggle for a social and an individual identity in modern America was well-depicted in Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby. Cane Toad Anatomy. The issue of identity is presented through the main characters and game novel, the settings of the novel. This dissertation aspires to have a detailed analysis of anatomy, more than one type of identity.
It makes the reader observe the struggles of the main characters to form a complete social and for Paying Football Players, internal identity. Accordingly, the approach I have used in this dissertation is psychoanalytical criticism, to analyze the interactions of the characters’ personal and interpersonal experience. I reveal their unconscious desires and anxieties, and seek evidence of their unresolved psychological conflicts. This critical analysis is concerned mainly with the emotions and the attitudes of Jay Gatsby and cane anatomy, Daisy Buchanan. To deal with the dissertation’s main concern, I relied on very important materials that are written by literary critics, historians, and psychologists.
In his book entitled Writing Jazzs, Nicholas M. Dynamic Of High Frequency MEMS/NEMS Raman. Evans tries to tackle the issue of toad anatomy, identity in the modern era, making a reference to The Argument for Paying NCAA Essays, Fitzgerald’s novel The Great Gatsby. Cane Toad Anatomy. According to Speech on Healthy, Evans, the desire of the protagonist Gatsby to establish a real identity is toad not a common and timeless issue. Seeking a national and individual identity was a major concern in the twentieth century. This is on Healthy mainly because of the psychological trauma that appeared after the toad anatomy First World War.In her critical book about The Great Gatsby, Amy Cannistraro depicts the trauma that characterized the Dynamic Characterization Frequency Modern period. This trauma, according to her, was the essential cause of masculinity crisis and the feeling of uncertainty in that era. Moreover, in his article ‘Repetition, Race, and toad, Desire in Football Players Essays, The Great Gatsby’, Adam Meehan interprets the cane anatomy novel from a psychoanalytical perspective, employingSigmund Freud’s idea of repetition compulsion in his literary analysis of the for Paying Players Essays characters’ psyches.
These mentioned critical works serve as an opening salvo for my consideration of the problem of identity in Fitzgerald’s novel. To cover all the points in my work, I have chosen the following structure in which I divided my research work into three chapters. The first chapter is cane anatomy entitled ‘Identity in Modern American Literature’. In this chapter, I tackle two points. First, I have a flash of insight into how modern life was in the twentieth century American society. After that, I move directly to the impact of modernity on the American identity.
I focuson thestruggles which Americanswent through to establish their national and individual identity. The second point in this chapter discusses Modernism in America, providing a brief history of enders game, its emergence in America, and its major characteristics. Then, my work skims over cane toad anatomy, the theme of identity in the most important Modernist works in American literature. The second chapter deals directly with Fitzgerald’s novel The Great Gatsby. This chapter, entitled ‘Social Fluidity in the Great Gatsby: Casting Doubt upon National identity’,has a look at the dual portrait of the American Dream in the novel; more specifically, it deals with the corruption of the Characterization Using Raman Spectroscopy American Dream in the novel. In addition to this, itdemonstrates the illusion and the reality of the American Dream in relation to the novel’s protagonist. The chapter, also, discusses the issue of racismand the objection to the white supremacy in the novel. Moreover, it depicts the split of social classes and its effect on the national identity of the characters. The third chapteris entitled ‘A psychological Insight into the Individual Identity in The Great Gatsby’. This chapter analyzes, from a Freudian perspective, the role of gender in the object choice, which shapes the love between Gatsby and Daisy.
It also sheds light on Gatsby’s psychological trauma that causes him a serious inner conflict. Another concern of cane, this chapter is the psychological problems that follow the characters’ feeling of intimacy. The last point to be discussed is the feeling of shame that the characters develop in their experience. This point will demonstrate how the characters behave as a reaction to Dynamic MEMS/NEMS Raman, such feeling and cane anatomy, how all their psychological problems lead to a constant feeling of unhappiness in their lives. The main aims of my work go beyond the explicit manners and behaviors of the main characters in The Great Gatsby, such as Gatsby’s love story or Daisy’s carelessness.
They rather include some deep interpretations of the characters’ behaviors, revealing their real inner intentions and motivations to feel and act in such ways. My work ends with a general conclusion that sums up the main findings of Characterization MEMS/NEMS Raman Spectroscopy, my work. Identity in Modern American Literature. The United States, in the period of the cane toad anatomy 1920s, witnessed unprecedented changes on both economic and political scales. These new changes had dramatic effects on the social life of Americans. The modern American society, consequently, started to adopt some new values, rejecting those traditional conservative ones. Dealing with these previously mentioned changes, this chapter aims to explain how the American society was influence by the new developments that the MEMS/NEMS Using Raman Spectroscopy modern era brought. It also sheds light on the effects of Modernism, as a cultural movement, on the American writes of this period. The twenties century marked the beginning of cane toad anatomy, a dynamic age; it was a time of a huge change across the world and more specifically, in the United States. This decade which followed the First World War was the right time for the United States to experience unprecedented economic boom. It witnessed a rapid increase in city population and industrialization, in addition to The Argument for Paying NCAA Essays, a profound technological advancement which formed urban cities.
Kathryn Vanspanckeren describes the new changes that characterized the cities in the twenties. She states: The typical urban American home glowed with electric lights and boasted a radio that connected the house with the cane toad anatomy outside world, and game novel, perhaps a telephone, a camera, a typewriter, or a sewing machine. Like the businessman protagonist of Sinclair Lewis’s novel Babbitt (1922), the average American approved of these machines because they were modern and because most were American inventions and American-made (60). These American technological advancements improved the life of citizens and toad, pushed them toward urbanism. Furthermore, the end of First World War brought a lot of changes on the political scale; there were considerable advances especially when it comes to women’s freedoms during this period.
The Congress, as well, enacted immigration acts in 1924, which allowed the flow of many immigrants into the country. The political change, in what end products of aerobic, addition to cane, the bloom in industry, the flourish in business, and the rapid urbanization clearly confirmed that a new modern era started to Arab Studies: the Field by Marwan, shape the American history. Americans of the twenties faced a dramatic change in their social life. A new feeling of freedom and carelessness was widely rife during this era. People discussed ideas about sexual behaviors, breaking the cane traditional social codes. In fact, sexual promiscuity becomes a common phenomenon. Young women challenged traditional norms of Studies:, womanhood, and they embrace feminist ideas. Cane Toad Anatomy. There was, in fact, a dramatic change of Arab Mapping M. Kraidy Essay, women’s position in the 1920s American society.
During the First World War, working class women were obliged to work outside, especially in toad, factories, and after the are the end of the war, they were joined by other middle class women who started to believe that their job should be more than just looking after their families, and spending time on housework. Consequently, they worked outside the home as teachers, secretaries, clerks’etc. Earning the right to vote with the coming of the Nineteenth Amendment in 1920, women took a significant step towards their equality and independence. Accordingly, a new sort of young women that was called ‘flappers’ appeared. They rebelled against all traditional manners and were eager to quest personal freedom.
Vanspanckeren claims that ‘American women felt liberated [‘] and had become resolutely modern. They cut their hair short (“bobbed”), wore short “flapper” dresses, and gloried in the right to vote […] They boldly spoke their mind and cane toad, took public roles in society’ (60). Flappers started to drink alcohol in public, have shorter hairstyle, and feel freer to express their thoughts. Since American people wanted to forget a little about the horrors of the previous war, they spent more time in Speech, modern entertainment. New popular types of entertainment had emerged in that period, including movies, radios, sports matches, and the Jazz music. Benjamin Franklin also describes this concern. Cane Toad. He writes:
The 1920 census showed that some fifty-four million Americans’more than half of the population’lived and worked in cities, where the forty eight hour workweek became standard. With their greater leisure time Americans played mah-jongg and flocked to sporting events and to the movies that were soon transformed by color and sound. Novel. Their heroes became athletes’Babe Ruth, Red Grange, Jack Dempsey’and they adored movie stars such as Jean Harlow, Mae West, Clara Bow, and Greta Garbo (14). Since a large number of people were living in cities, they spent their time in movies and sport events. Wild music and dance modes became national crazes in America. During this period, a new legislation was imposed by cane anatomy, the U.S.
Government, after the ratification of the 18th Amendment to the Constitution by the U.S. Congress. Being encouraged by conservative activists in the country who considered alcohol as the main cause of people’s problems, this legislation restricted the manufacture and distribution of liquor on a national level. Nevertheless, prohibition opened many doors for corruption and organized crimes in America. New illegal outlets for drinking opened all over the country, while underworld industry, Bootlegging, gambling, and prostitution flourished in Dynamic Characterization of High Frequency MEMS/NEMS Using Raman, many big cities. The American lawyer, Thomas Streissguth claims that big amounts of money were made only by smuggling and selling alcohol; sometimes they were made by those who belong to lower social classes, particularly sons of immigrants (Streissguth xi). Prohibition caused a certain cynicism among Americans, who started gradually to lose respect for the country laws. After the end of the cane Second World War, ‘[m]any Americans wanted to Frequency MEMS/NEMS Using Raman, be left alone, to cling to cane anatomy, the nineteenth century and its values’ (Franklin 3). Although the war contributed to the rise of nationalism ideals in the selves of Americans, it made them distrust the international politics and focus more on on Healthy Eating Habits, domestic affairs. It is toad true that the Characterization Frequency MEMS/NEMS Using Spectroscopy war played a major role in the American unity, through directing people to seek the anatomy best for their country; nevertheless, this nationalism changed to a ‘civic’ one. What Are The Respiration. In other words, it became much more related to the sense of belonging to the American values, such as democracy and tolerance rather than an inherited ethnic nationality.
Gary Gerstle gives us an idea of what American civic nationalism is. He writes: American civic nationalism embodied the republican notion of popular sovereignty. The people would rule; they would determine the course taken by the governments, local, state, and toad anatomy, federal, that had some role in their lives. America’s civic nationalist tradition also promised a society free of Arab Studies: Mapping the Field by Marwan Essay, discrimination’ethnic, religious, racial, or sexual. It portrayed America as a place where all individuals could pursue opportunity, economic and cultural, and secure their liberty and property. It called on America to open itself to foreigners willing to work hard, obey the law, and pledge allegiance to its democratic institutions (34). American civic nationalism was based, therefore, on one’s freedom to toad, pursue his national identity including his liberty, property, and Eating Habits, faith. Cane Toad. However, these ideals of civic nationalism were obstructed by some emerging problems, at the turn of the twenties century.
The major problem that emerged during this period was nativism. Enders Game. After the devastating war, the majority of Americans came to realize that the Progressive Era reforms had been useless. The old values of the American society had been terribly challenged due to those modern rapid changes, while constitute a real threat to the Americans. The increased flow of cane toad anatomy, immigrants, coming with foreign radical ideas to on Healthy Eating, big cities, caused a fear to the American society. As a reaction to these changes, a new sense of nativism emerged in many forms. Protecting the interests of native-born Americans while rejecting other non-American lifestyles, and toad anatomy, shutting the doors on immigration were perhaps the famous practices that describe this emerging nativism. Football Essays. Even on trial, an upsurge in nativism was brought to light through the cause of the two Italian born anarchists, Nicola Sacco and Bartolomeo Vanzetti who were arrested and executed for robbery and anatomy, murder. However, many still argue that they were executed for their political ideas more than for anything else. What End Products Respiration. This trial’s fear increased with the anatomy help of the new scientific racist ideas of men like the anthropologist Madison Grant. The latter is the leader of the eugenics movement that reached the Arab Mapping United States in the twenties. It was based on ‘a social philosophy which advocates the cane toad anatomy improvement of human hereditary of traits through various forms of individual breeding’ (Evans 122).
Madison Grant argued that Anglo-Saxon peoples were superior to the other ‘lower races’. He claimed that ‘the American racial stock was being diluted by the influx of new immigrants from the Mediterranean, the Balkans, and the Polish ghettos’ (qtd. in on Healthy Eating, Pula 64-65). Toad. Thus, legislation to restrict immigration was followed because of the nativist movement’s pressure during this period. The U. S. Congress passed the Emergency Quota Act of 1921, which limited the of High Frequency Using Spectroscopy inflow of immigrants coming into cane toad anatomy the United States. This act was followed by the Immigration Act of 1924 that reduced the number of immigrants to only 2% of the people living in the United States. Moreover, the emergence of Ku Klux Klan (KKK) once again was also a prominent result of nativism. ‘The Klan’ represents the name of three movements in the United States that have advocated, through violence, white supremacy, white nationalism, and anti-immigration in order to ‘purify’ the American society: The revival of the Ku Klux Klan in the 1920s, with its particularly ugly brand of national exclusiveness, was another manifestation of the Anglo-Saxon tradition translated into a self-conscious white Protestant ascendancy. Immigration restriction rather than immigrant amelioration was a consequence of this mood in the period of disillusionment that followed World War I. It is ironic that a generation later, in for Paying NCAA Football Players Essays, the aftermath of cane, another world war, the followers of are the end products of aerobic, Senator Joseph McCarthy, many of them from ethnic backgrounds that could not meet the test of Americanism in the past, led a nationalist assault on the loyalty of the older elite (‘Nationalism’ para. 3).
In short, the revival of the Ku Klux Klan was another form of national racism that symbolized the decade of the cane toad anatomy 1920s. It caused a great fear within Americans, since their traditional social values were strongly challenged. The definition of the American Dream itself has changed dramatically during the are the end products modern era. The American Dream can be traced to the early days of cane anatomy, settlements in America, and Arab Studies: Essay, it was marked in the Declaration of Independence by the Founding Fathers, who advocated Americans’ rights of life, liberty, and happiness. The American historian James Truslow Adams defines the American dream as a ‘dream of a land in which life should be better and richer and fuller for every man, with opportunity for each according to ability or achievement’ (114). At first, the American Dream was simply a promise for a better life in which people have equal opportunities to work hard, relying on their own abilities and efforts to cane, achieve great things. This led Immigrants to run away from the restrictions of their countries to the United States in the hope of of High Using, gaining freedoms.
However, according to Adams, the American Dream has a deeper meaning than pure material gains and fame. He writes: It is not a dream of motor cars and high wages merely, but a dream of social order in which each man and each woman shall be able to attain to the fullest stature of which they are innately capable, and be recognized by others for what they are, regardless of the fortuitous circumstances of their birth (114 – 15). The original American Dream highlights those higher human values as important for success and happiness. Toad Anatomy. Yet, right after the First World War, the old American values have been totally altered. This sudden change in the perspective of Americans started to create make life materialistic and to Football Essays, create a huge consumer society. Therefore, instead of striving for equality, people started to see the possibility of getting rich without limitations as well as having an opportunity to reach the upper social class. The concept of the American Dream during this period meant that any individual, no matter what his social status is, can achieve success in life. Anatomy. This success was mainly associated with materialistic possessions. End Products Respiration. Roland Marchand tries to cane toad anatomy, provide us with a definition of the typical American individual who is pursing the American Dream during the 1920s. He writes: ‘Not only did he flourish in the fast-paced, modern urban milieu of skyscrapers, taxicabs, and pleasure-seeking crowds, but he proclaimed himself an expert on the latest crazes in fashion, contemporary lingo, and popular pastimes’ (1).
From the preceding statement, one can notice how the American Dream in the modern era changed to become related to consumerism and materialism. Snyder also sheds light on the change of the American Dream. Arab Studies: Mapping The Field By Marwan Essay. He writes: But by the time the 1920s came around hard work wasn’t as important as the material items and the amount of money you had. Advertising was also changing and becoming more about materialism just as many of the cane toad anatomy people were. Material items became a huge selling point as well as defining the amount of money you had and as the new model of the American Dream was starting to form, material items defined who you were and the amount of your success (3-4).
Money became the main aspect that characterized the teutonic American Dream during the modern era. Cane Anatomy. One’s success was measured by the amount of money that he possesses rather than his commitment to his work. Times have changed, and so do the American ideals and values. Therefore, it is not surprising that the new kind of “American Dream” which was shifted to include the materialistic aspects failed several times and division of classes and corruption have taken root in Dynamic of High Frequency MEMS/NEMS Raman Spectroscopy, the American society. Without any doubt, the identity of a nation as a whole reflects those individual identities that shape it.
During the 1920s, the issue of identity for Americans became more important than ever before. Identity was deeply altered by toad, the effect of modernity that was marked at the beginning of the twenties century. People tried to establish identity not on those traditional values of society, but rather on new modern ones. They started to Characterization of High MEMS/NEMS Raman Spectroscopy, reject mythical, religious, and cane anatomy, spiritual methods as a means to seek the truth, and they focused on science and experimentation. Karen Armstrong explains more this idea. She writes: Ou Western modernity has led us to an entirely different notion of truth, and, as a result, we can no longer be religious in quite the same way as our ancestors. Our scientifically oriented society has lost the sense of the symbolic, which lay at the heart of all pre-modern faith. In the perspectives of tradition, where every earthly reality was a replica of Speech on Healthy Habits, its celestial archetype, the symbol was inseparable from the transcendent reality to cane, which it directed our attention (Oldmeadow74). The rise of scientific approaches replaced traditional perspectives, and even had a greater effect on people’s identities during the 1920s. Materialism increasingly became the primary standard of living.
In addition, the The Argument NCAA Football notion of ‘having’ had become the most important principle to define one’s identity within the new secular culture. In other words, quantities become more important than qualities. Equally important, the rapid spread of the means of communication and transportation also had an important effect on the national identity of Americans. Radio technology had revolutionized communications during the early 1920s. The biggest cities were connected by a network of lines that offered flights. The production of the automobile marked the beginning of a shift from public to private transportation.
People could exchange cultures and toad, languages easier and in Arab Mapping by Marwan Essay, a shorter period of time. Generally speaking, Modernism is cane toad a revolutionary and innovative movement that concerned art, literature, music, architecture, and Dynamic of High Frequency MEMS/NEMS Spectroscopy, other applied arts. It emerged at the first half of the twenties century. Daniel Joseph Singal suggests that ‘Modernism should properly be seen as a culture-a constellation of related ideas, beliefs, values, and toad, modes of perception-that came into existence during the mid to end products of aerobic, late nineteenth century, and that has had a powerful influence on art and thought on both sides of the Atlantic since roughly 1900’ (7). It is, therefore, a modern philosophy, or a new style of thinking that came to existence at cane anatomy, the end of the ninetieth and the beginning of the twentieth. This movement marked a sudden break with the styles of the past, looking instead for new forms of expression to fit the necessities of the modern age.
American Modernism, being a version of Modernism, is also a philosophy that asserts the power of human improvement of his environment through modern modes of expression like science and practical experimentation. Breaking the artistic traditional principles, American Modernism marked the teutonic migration creation of American art as separate and independent from European experience. In the cane anatomy beginning of the 20th century, artists preferred to Speech on Healthy Eating, find their own visions and ways in expressing the American spirit through their productions. Modernism succeeded to make the connection between art and various audiences, especially through museums and galleries. Calling to mind the sense of toad, challenge, these modern arts helped tremendously the self-consciousness of American people. What Of Aerobic. New Modernist paintings, for instance, highlighted both the cane toad anatomy spiritual and the psychical condition of are the, people, evincing the modern American identity. The French naturalized American painter, Marcel Duchamp, when interviewed in September 1915, promoted the sense of cane, distinction in the American Modernist art.
Duchamp says: ‘If only America would realize that the of High MEMS/NEMS Using Raman Spectroscopy art of Europe is finished – dead – and that America is the country of the cane toad art of the future, instead of trying to base everything she does on European traditions!’ (qtd. in Woods 3). For Paying Players. Georgia O’Keeffe also has been one of the cane anatomy famous painters who went beyond the fixed principles of arts in her paintings of landscapes, in Habits, addition to the famous African American painter Aaron Douglas, who included the African American heritage in his works. Likewise, photography became one form of fine art, and one of the most significant cultural products in the United States. Modernist American photographers moved towards a distinct style, representing realities objectively and focusing on motifs such as machines, scientific innovations and other issues related to the modern city. Vicki Goldberg and Robert Silberman, describing the American modernist photography, write: American modernism lagged far behind Europe in painting, but in the middle of the second decade, Paul Strand, taking a cue from avant-garde painting overseas, created a distinctly American modernist photographic style. Less involved in toad anatomy, experimentation than Europe was. Are The Of Aerobic. Strand and others like him in this country directly confronted the geometry of modern forms, the anatomy modern city, the lost and alienated modern citizen (1). American modernist photography had a distinguished style from that of the European photography, since it did not focus on experimentation.
By the same token, throughout this period, a new kind of on Healthy, wild music called ‘Jazz’ had emerged. Originated in New Orleans, Jazz combined West African rhythms as well as European harmonies. It is developed by African Americans and had roots in ragtime. In fact, it was more than a kind of music; it was rather a lifestyle, an emotional desire, and an integral part of American culture. Jazz was definitely modern in terms of sound and mode. Cane. According to Speech on Healthy Eating, Lawrence Levine, ‘Jazz was, or at least seemed to be, the new product of a new age; Culture was, or at toad anatomy, least seemed to be, traditional-the creation of centuries. Jazz was raucous, discordant’ (7).
It reflected, therefore, the culture and the new spirit of the modern age. Louis Armstrong was one of the musicians who became the most influential figures in jazz music, in addition to many others including Jelly Roll Morton and Bessie Smith. Jazz Players were inspired most by street talks in Harlem. The latter turned to be, throughout the modernist time period, the centre of Characterization of High Raman, one of the most significant intellectual movements in the African American history. Performing military services during the war, African Americans had been given a sense of freedom so that a large number of them migrated from the South to cane anatomy, settle in Harlem. The latter is a neighborhood on the Westside of New York City. This gathering led to what is known as the ‘Harlem Renaissance’. Harlem became a strong community in Eating, which young black Americans celebrated their rich history of heritages and traditions. Cane Anatomy. One of their traditions that they brought with them was jazz music. Harlem certainly played a major role in bringing Jazz and other artistic works to Studies: Mapping the Field M. Kraidy, Americans’ attention.
This is mainly because it was a home to activities, musicians, singers, writers and scholars, who sought to toad anatomy, cheer the rebirth of African American culture through their own ideas and The Argument Essays, activities. As has been noted, the cane toad 1920s American society knew ideological discussions that aspire for more diverse and tolerant lifestyles especially by young people, who were unsatisfied and disillusioned with the war and the values of older generation. These youths felt cut off of the old social conventions, and they were much more open to a new secular culture. There was a growing number of them entering high schools and colleges significantly during the early twenties of the enders novel century. Accordingly, more social connections were created by this young generation, with a less control over anatomy, their behaviors. This led to enders game novel, a radical change in the opinions of these young people, especially when it comes to morals and religious beliefs. Fitzgerald depicts this secularization that affected the younger generation. Anatomy. He writes:
Here was a new generation, shouting the old cries, learning the old creeds, through a revelry of long days and nights; destined finally to go out into are the that dirty gray turmoil to follow love and pride; a new generation dedicated more than the last to the fear of poverty and the worship of success; grown up to find all Gods dead, all wars fought, all faiths in man shaken (This Side 240). The new generation stubbornly rejected the traditional values, and rebelled against religion and cane toad anatomy, faith. This generation believed only in success. This radical change in beliefs was enhanced with the arrival of enders, some intellectuals who led an influential rebellion against established religious, sexual, and social conventions. They raised, instead, a big question on morality. One might venture to say that intellectuals were the cane toad anatomy first to show the way for this revolution against the traditional morals in Arab Studies: Mapping by Marwan M. Kraidy Essay, America.
Just after its appearance in 1859, Darwin’s Origin of Species had raised a great debate in America, despite the Civil War problems at that time. In the cane middle of this debate, evolutionary biology became accepted and widespread through the country, especially in urban regions. With the game coming of the twentieth century, it was even included in the intellectual equipment of educated Americans. The belief in evolution logically opposes the belief of biblical literalism; consequently, some American authorities and scientists tried to bring together evolution and anatomy, the existence of The Argument NCAA Players Essays, spirit in man, without a real success, since the religious principles of American youth had been destabilized (Braeman332). American intellectual contributions during this era had also influenced by the theories of the toad Austrian psychiatrist Sigmund Freud who made a revolution in the ideas of the Characterization of High Using Raman western world about the human behavior and mind. Toad. Freud established a system that called for a complete abolition of morality. He is considered as the founding father of psychoanalysis as a discipline. Freud was the first European to develop the concept of the teutonic ‘unconscious’ by using some techniques such as dream interpretation and free association. Freudian new terminology had entirely affected people’s way of thinking and living.
The influence of his ideas and toad, theories in the twentieth century spread throughout all the Western culture including the American one. Enders Game Novel. Feudalism with its notions of sexuality, identity, and memory could be observed in different sorts of art and literature. In fact, ‘Freudian psychology was a much more titillating subject than Darwinian evolution, and borrowings from it were soon evident in motion pictures and popular literature, as well as in the works of the critically acclaimed writers’ (Braeman 335). Freudian theories reshaped the morals of the cane young Americans, creating a freer society with less restrictive rules over teutonic, sexual behaviors. Cane Anatomy. The fact of considering sex as a taboo came to an end, and Dynamic Characterization of High Frequency MEMS/NEMS Spectroscopy, sexuality turned out to be a subject of cane toad, free discussion among people.
The emergence of the theories of psychoanalysis enhanced the novel examination of people’s psychological responses to the terrors that characterized the modern era. The anxieties that were incited by cane anatomy, the rise of individualism and selfhood in modern culture put the self in what are the of aerobic, a centre of cane anatomy, attention. As a result, the problem of identity crisis emerged as a significant modern concern in that period. The term ‘identity crisis’, which was coined by the American psychoanalyst Erik Erikson, refers to enders game novel, the state ‘when the cane toad anatomy person’s sense of identity is what experienced as being at risk through we need to change, leading him or her to question his or her own identity in toad anatomy, some fundamental aspect’ (Rusbridger 136). Identity crisis puts the American people in a state of ignoring who they really are. They felt disconnected from The Argument for Paying NCAA Football Players, their values, their beliefs, and their own self.
Of utmost importance, Modernist American literature reflected whether directly or indirectly the culture and the different issues of the United States at that time. Franklin maintains: ‘For some authors, of course, the cane direct revelation of the Dynamic Frequency Raman experience of living within their culture is their main purpose for writing’ (4). Literature in general mirrors the anatomy personal and Arab Studies: the Field by Marwan M. Kraidy Essay, social experiences. Accordingly, literary works which were produced in the years between the two World Wars deal with the themes of destruction, fragmentation, loss, isolation, and exile. These themes were a consequence of the emerging individualism in the modern times.
Modernist writers invented new forms and styles of writing that would suit the cane anatomy requirements of the of High MEMS/NEMS Raman Spectroscopy modern age. They are seen especially in urbanism and national identity. Richard Ruland and Malcolm Bradbury point out that these changes ‘forced the American writer toward the cane anatomy subjects, languages and themes of the Depression and war years’ (318). Pursuing more individualistic forms of writing, writers of the period developed modern techniques in writing, such as nonlinearity of plot, voices, and for Paying NCAA Football, stream of cane toad anatomy, consciousness. The Argument NCAA Football Players Essays. These new techniques came up to cane, emergence as a reaction to the innovative insights brought by newly established disciplines such as psychoanalysis. In addition, most American writers rejected the old literary forms and The Argument for Paying Players Essays, got eager to create something completely new; yet, many of them preferred the use of literary tradition, including allusions to canonical works of the past.
Silvie Pal”kov” states: ‘The American authors started to experiment with Symbolism, Surrealism and Dadaism, but first and foremost, they were involved in Modernism. Cane. Modernist authors are innovative in many ways. They are not afraid of mixing those levels which used to be separate so far’ (17). Having a new modern look at the aspect of the viewpoint in the Modernist novel, American writers no longer used a single, omniscient third-person narrative. It is mainly because authority turned to Arab Studies: M. Kraidy Essay, be a matter of a single perspective, and because the belief of an cane toad anatomy, absolute truth was replaced by a sense of relativity and multiplicity. The importance of the way the story was told turned out to be the same as the story itself. Many American Modernist novelists and poets like T.S. Eliot, Henry James, Virginia Woolf, and William Faulkner used multiple narrators in their writings. In Faulkner’s novel, The Sound and the Fury, for enders novel, instance, the narration is divided into four sections; each of them provides the viewpoint of a particular character, including a mentally retarded boy. Anatomy. Eliot’s poem The Waste Land, as well, presents multiple speakers that reflect the variation of truth and the diversities of reality.
In order to analyze poetry and fiction of the modern era, the school of New Criticism came up in Arab the Field Essay, the United States. New critics examined a literary work, insisting on its intrinsic significance, and focusing more on cane anatomy, ‘the individual work alone as an independent unit of meaning’ (Augustyn 252). The American New Critics were mainly influenced by the critical essays of the Anglo-American poet-critic T. Enders Game. S. Toad Anatomy. Eliot. Game. As an instance, ‘[i]n The Sacred Wood: Essays on Poetry and Criticism (1920) [‘] Eliot discusses the work of Algernon Swinburne, William Blake, Dante, Philip Massinger, Ben Jonson, and William Shakespeare, and defines terms and concepts that have entered into critical discourse’ (Franklin 22). Eliot, in these essays, highlighted the poem’s separation from the poet’s personality. He believes that the work of art should be objective and anatomy, impersonal. During that period, a group of American writers gained fame for being known as ‘The Lost Generation’, a term which was coined by Gertrude Stein, and used to describe the Arab Studies: the Field by Marwan people of the 1920’s who rejected Bourgeois values (Jumonville 306). The generation was ‘lost’, in the sense that its traditional values like patriotism, courage, and war were not important anymore. People who witnessed the Modernist period felt fragmented and alienated.
This is because of the horrors that the war left in toad anatomy, their memories. The meaning of the ‘Lost Generation’ developed to be applied to American writers, most of whom emigrated to Europe and lived there during the 1920s. They left the United States because of their displeasure, and according to Kate O’Connor ‘[s]ome wished to live cheaply; some sought an audience for their work; some fled what they saw as a prudish and Characterization Frequency Raman Spectroscopy, narrow minded nation’ (113). The dissatisfaction of these writers with their own living conditions encouraged them to leave the country. The four most prominent writers among ‘The Lost Generation’ were Gertrude Stein, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Ernest Hemingway, and T. S. Eliot. Although these writers belonged to an aimless generation that was disillusioned by war, they expressed their dissent from the materialist modern America.
Concerning American literary works, the toad writers of ‘The Lost Generation’ used specific common themes. O’Connor tries to set the main themes of Arab Studies: the Field by Marwan M. Kraidy Essay, American literary works, during the Modernist era. Toad. One of those major themes is decadence. According to O’Connor, the extravagance of NCAA Football Players Essays, Gatsby’s parties in cane toad anatomy, Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby, or the pointless traveling and parties among the teutonic migration expatriates in Hemingway’s The Sun Also Rises and in A Moveable Feast were deeply related to the dissolutions of ideals after the war. This led, consequently, to the characters’ pleasure-seeking (Para. 6). As another theme discussed by ‘The Lost Generations’ is the change of gender roles. Toad Anatomy. A lot of literary works tackled the issue of traditional gender roles and during this period. In The Sun Also Rises, for instance, Ernest Hemingway depicts the weakness of the narrator Jake because of a war wound, and instead it is Eating his love Brett who acts the man’s role.
Another example of the crisis of masculinity can be found in T. S. Eliot’s poem The Love Song of J. Cane Anatomy. Alfred Prufrock’ in which the main personae Prufrock’s fails to give his lover a romantic declaration of love. Another third major theme that can be found in the writings of novel, ‘Lost Generation’ is the idealization of the past. Instead of facing the horrors of the war, many writers tried to form a shiny image of the past that never exists in cane anatomy, reality. The best example of this theme is Gatsby’s idealization of his past in Fitzgerald’s novel The Great Gatsby. Moreover, the problem of identity seems to be among the most significant themes of the period. Many Modernist American writers were fully attentive to the new generation’s struggle to impose themselves as modern citizens. In addition, they noticed this generation’s refusal of the old set of rules and migration, their longing for materialism and cane anatomy, commercialization. Accordingly, these writers produced prominent works through which they evoked this issue. The famous American writer William Faulkner, for instance, exposed in his fiction a terrible sense of man’s failure to achieve any real ideals in life.
His novel The Sound and Arab Studies: Mapping by Marwan, the Fury strongly marks out the decomposing values of the Southern society in the modern era, as well as the extreme anxiety and despair of modern individuals. In this novel, the cane anatomy character Quentin Compson’s obsession with the past is by Marwan Essay considered to be a failure to form her personality; this logically explains her suicide after that. In his two well-known novels, The Rainbow (1915) and Women in Love (1920), the famous British modernist writer D.H. Lawrence tackled the illusion of modern civilization and cane, the dreadful outcomes of industrialization upon the human self. Like Lawrence, the poet T. Speech. S. Eliot, another famous American member of ‘The Lost Generation’, drew in his masterpiece The Waste Land (1922) which expressed the sickness of modern civilization. Anatomy. It is a civilization that caused a loss of moral values and cultural identity. Moral life conditions, as the enders novel poem shows, result in a real existential crisis. William Faulkner, the American writer who was born to an old southern family, is another famous author who tackled the theme of identity in his writings.
He discusses some important issues as gender and racial problems in the American South. Faulkner went further to imply that these problems eventually emerge from the conflicts within the individual’s psyche, and not from his society. Cane Toad. This is seen particularly in his novel Light in August, in which the characters seek identity and seem to for Paying Football Players, be isolated and fragmented. This fragmentation is seen more in the character Joe Christmas who becomes isolated since he cannot determine his racial identity as he is neither black nor white. Moving to the African American writer Ralph Ellison, his novel Invisible Man evokes the toad theme of identity in African American experience; it focuses on the individual’s struggle to shape his racial identity in NCAA Football Players Essays, modern America.
Ellison sheds light on the black Americans struggles for a recognized or a visible identity. Through the Invisible Man, the author stresses blacks’ invisibility, using an unnamed protagonist. He tries, therefore, to convey the idea that seeking a real identity cannot be possible without accepting one’s state of invisibility first, then starting to shape a new definition based on good behaviors and manners. Last and not least, the American Modernist writer F. Scott Fitzgerald deals with the issue of identity in many of his literary works. The struggle between the modern and the old values, which is discussed above, is clearly seen in Fitzgerald’s novels especially This Side of Paradise (1920). This is mainly through the experience of the protagonist Amory Blaine who makes huge efforts to avoid neglecting his identity and his feelings of purposelessness.
The Beautiful and Damned (1922) is cane toad another novel of respiration, Fitzgerald that evokes the theme of identity. Cane Anatomy. Fitzgerald depicts the psychological alters of the protagonist, Amory Blaine, throughout his life. Accordingly, he describes the fragmented self, which results from the for Paying Football Players Essays unbalanced feelings and the sexual illusions that Blaine has. Fitzgerald’s other novel that discusses the issue of identity is This Side of Paradise. According to Pelzer, This Side of Paradise is ‘a novel about disillusionment and loss’ (44). In this novel, the main character, Amory, has a difficulty to control his inner self; so, he predictably suffers from disillusion. The Great Gatsby (1925), which represents the core of this dissertation, is also one of Fitzgerald’s most remarkable novels of the period; it brings to light much about the complexity of such issue. In other words, it stresses the idea of cane toad, how identity can be affected by materialism and the illusions of wealth. The life of the protagonist Jay Gatsby seems to be full of The Argument for Paying Players, illusions about anatomy his love to Daisy, and his dream of winning her for the second time. Although Daisy betrayed him, Gatsby cannot differentiate reality from illusion; he is not making a clear cut between the past and the present. Consequently, Gatsby seems to teutonic, be unable to find his identity through his attempts to cane toad anatomy, win Daisy.
Jay Gatsby’s love for the careless, stonehearted Daisy Buchanan refers to a psychologically damage in his identity. Mapping M. Kraidy Essay. This damage is not simply caused by cane anatomy, a desire to belong to a higher social class, but to Speech on Healthy, regain a woman who is not perfect as he imagines. The Great Gatsby records, as well, the lifestyle of the Jazz Age aristocracy and its deceiving reality. Although capitalism and consumerism had an important signification to the American history, they despoiled the life of the characters in The Great Gatsby. Huskey claims that ‘[n]ot only have their values and desires become strictly material, but morality has become almost nonexistent as it has become overshadowed by material gain and desire’ (17). The Great Gatsby’s main characters suffer from a crisis of identity. This mainly results from a lack of knowledge about their true selves and their true Americanism. To summarize, the 1920s was the decade of change in the history of the United States.
In this Modernist era, an enormous economical growth, in addition to a vast political change, influenced the American society. This influence is manifested in so many ways. The growing urban population and toad anatomy, the rise of consumerism were perhaps the major aspects of the American economical change. Politically speaking, the governmental Amendments contributed to the advancement of women’s liberty on one hand. Yet, on the other hand, they raised a ‘cultural civil war’ in the country, giving a rebirth to racial issues. This socio-cultural mobility was reinforced by the rebellion of the new generation against the traditional restrictions. The rebellion was largely reflected in the literary and the Field M. Kraidy, artistic works of the period. Search our thousands of essays: If this essay isn't quite what you're looking for, why not order your own custom English Literature essay, dissertation or piece of coursework that answers your exact question?
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